the fisher king
by
Richard LaGravenese
REVISED DRAFT
Rev 6/31/90
[NOTE: THE HARD COPY OF THIS SCRIPT CONTAINED
SCENE NUMBERS & SOME "OMITTED" SCENE SLUGS.
THESE HAVE BEEN IGNORED FOR THIS SOFT COPY.]
FADE IN:
INT. DARKENED BEDROOM - DAWN
CLOSEUP ON RADIO/ALARM CLOCK reads 5:59 a.m. The digital
numbers flip to 6:00 and the RADIO goes on: a talk show
host speaks in a soft, soothing voice:
JACK (V.O.)
It's six a.m.... Ooooooo and that bed
never felt sooooo gooood... Mmmm, you
linger in a warm, gentle dream
state... ever so comfortable... ever
so safe...
SFX: LOUD BATTLE NOISE
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... But suddenly you realize it's
Monday!
A woman SCREAMS... the D.J., JACK, speaks at a rapid fire
pace... a HAND from O.S. tries to shut the alarm off in
the dark.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... your hand races to shut off the
alarm before your mind wakes up...
SCREAMS... the HAND knocks over a water glass and grabs
the clock but can't find the off switch.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... But it's too late! If you don't
get out of bed now, you'll never have
enough time to blow dry your hair
that special way... You'll never make
that nine o'clock meeting that your
partner will be early for... You will
be late and everyone will notice!
The HAND bangs the clock violently...
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... Rumors will fly about you losing
your edge... Someone will casually
mention they saw you downing shots of
tequila at the Xmas party and before
you know it, you're spilling your
guys to a Senate committee or selling
yourself on street corners to middle
aged men from the Midwest...
Headlines flash across your mind --
"Sleeping Investment Banker Guns D.J.
Then Self -- Claimed -- 'I only
wanted two more minutes!'"
SCREAMS... SILENCE... The D.J. (Jack) speaks in a normal
voice.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... Hey, it's Monday morning, and I'm
Jack Lucas.
The HAND rips the clock off the night table.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - MORNING
A WOMAN in a bathrobe spoons the contents of a protein
drink called Executive Protein Blast into blender...
WOMAN (V.O.)
(upset)
... I don't have to talk to you.
JACK (V.O.)
Yes... Yes, you do because you see,
today, you're our...
PRE-RECORDED ECHOING (V.O.)
Spotlight Celebrity.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
A naked man shaves as he listens to the RADIO.
JACK (V.O.)
And in the spirit of fairness, we
want the public to hear your side of
things. So, now... how long were you
and Senator Peyton having this sleazy
affair?
WOMAN (V.O.)
(angry)
I am tired of the public thinking
they've got the right to invade a
person's private life.
INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
A woman sensually applying lipstick and makeup as:
JACK (V.O.)
Oh please!... You had sex with a
United States Senator in the parking
lot of Sea World... You're telling me
you're a private kind of person.
No... you're our...
PRE-RECORDED ECHOING (V.O.)
Spotlight Celebrity...
WOMAN (V.O.)
That's still all anybody talks about.
Nobody even thinks to ask whether we
loved each other.
EXT. WALL STREET AREA - MORNING
Hordes of business people stampeding towards their
jobs...
JACK (V.O.)
Because nobody cares about that,
sweetheart. Nobody wants to hear
about your romantic love. No. We
want to hear about the back seats of
limos... the ruined lives of people
we want to be... new and exotic uses
for champagne corks...
INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING
People line up to buy coffee and danish.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Listen, I have been humiliated enough
already!
JACK (V.O.)
Perhaps not -- We need those
details...
The Woman hangs up...
JACK AND CREW
Ooooo...
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - MORNING
Escalators packed with people move like conveyor belts:
JACK (V.O.)
Hi, this is Jack Lucas and we're
discussing personal pet peeves. Go
ahead, caller.
CALLER (V.O.)
Okay... well... It's my husband...
JACK (V.O.)
Huh-huh.
GRAND CENTRAL - MAIN FLOOR - MORNING
Hundreds of people moving like ants in every direction:
CALLER (V.O.)
He drives me crazy. I'll be talking
and he'll never let me finish a
sentence... He's always finishing
my...
JACK (V.O.)
(overlaps)
-- Finishing your thoughts. That's
awful.
EXT. MIDTOWN NEW YORK - MORNING
Midtown traffic. Angry cab drivers yelling at
pedestrians.
CALLER (V.O.)
Oh! It absolutely drives me...
JACK (V.O.)
(cuts her off)
-- Drives you crazy, huh? The
scoundrel.
CUT TO:
EXT. 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - MORNING
CALLER (V.O.)
Hello Jack. It's Edwin.
JACK AND CREW (V.O.)
It's Edwin!!!!
"HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN" plays then is abruptly
stopped.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
Edwin. We haven't heard from you in
what -- a day?... I've missed you.
INT. EDWIN'S APARTMENT - MORNING
INTERCUT Edwin on phone.
INT. RADIO STUDIO - MORNING
OVERHEAD SHOT of radio host as he speaks, while he
manipulates tapes, dials, switches, etc... at a breakneck
speed...
EDWIN (V.O.)
I've missed you too, Jack.
JACK AND CREW (O.S.)
Awwww.......!
SFX: "A SUMMER PLACE" -- THE NEEDLE IS SCRATCHED OFF
Edwin laughs, perhaps a bit over zealously -- He is a
simple minded soul... a lonely child in the body of a
lonely man.
JACK (O.S.)
So, Edwin, baby, this is Sunrise
Confession time... what have you got
for us?
EDWIN (V.O.)
I... I... went to this bar... this
very, ya know -- hard-to-get-in
place... called Babbitt's...
The HANDS of the radio host pushing buttons, bending a
paperclip out of shape...
JACK (O.S.)
Yeah, I know the place. It's one of
those chic yuppie gathering holes.
EDWIN (V.O.)
(simple minded laughter)
Okay... I know but... I met this
beautiful girl...
Host's HANDS pop in a tape "WEDDING BELLS," then a
NEEDLE scratching it off.
JACK (O.S.)
Now, Edwin, if you start telling me
you're in love again, I'm going to
have to remind you of the time we
made you propose to that check-out
girl at Thrifty's that you liked so
much. Remember her reaction...
Another TAPE, another button pressed:
BLACK SEVENTIES GROUP (V.O.)
(sings)
"Mister Big Stuff... Huh... Tell
me... Who do you think you are...
Mister Big Stuff... you're never
gonna get my love..."
EDWIN (V.O.)
(defensive)
I wasn't serious about her, Jack.
That was just a joke for you guys...
She was just a girl. This is a
beautiful woman. She wears pearls.
CAMERA KEEPS MOVING about the studio and the host, but we
never see his face:
JACK (O.S.)
Yeah, but does she swallow, Edwin?
EDWIN (V.O.)
I think she likes me... she gave me
her number, but she must work a lot
cause when I call she's never home...
But I think we'll go out this
weekend... I've...
JACK (O.S.)
Yeah, Edwin, sure... and Pinnochio is
a true story... Edwin! Wake up!
This is a fairytale...
The crew perform their duties with little enthusiasm.
EDWIN (V.O.)
No, Jack, no, it's not... She likes
me.
JACK (O.S.)
She gave you the old brusheroo,
kiddo... Believe me -- this tart will
never make it to your desert plate...
EDWIN (V.O.)
(hurt)
She likes me. She said for me to
call!
MICHAEL MCDONALD (V.O.)
(sings)
"What a fool believes... He sees..."
EDWIN (V.O.)
(over the song)
Jack!
JACK (O.S.)
Edwin... Edwin... Edwin... I told you
about these people. They only mate
with their own kind. It's called
Yuppie-In-Breeding... that's why so
many of them are retarded and wear
the same clothes. They're not human.
They can't feel love. They can only
negotiate love moments. They're
evil, Edwin. They're repulsed by
imperfection and horrified by the
banal -- everything America stands
for. Edwin, they have to be stopped
before it's too late. It's us or
them.
Slight pause, as EDWIN considers this.
EDWIN (V.O.)
(serious)
Okay, Jack.
END CREDITS.
CAMERA PANS from a wall clock as JACK LUCAS winds up his
broadcast:
JACK LUCAS (O.S.)
Well, folks... It's been a thrill, as
always.
(false sincerity)
"Have a perfect day"...
WE PAN several studio technicians making ready for the
end of the broadcast to the talk show host Jack Lucas --
handsome, aggressive, intelligent -- an underground media
star.
JACK
Everyone here on the Jack Lucas
Morning Show says "bye".
CREW
Bye!
JACK
This is Jack Lucas... So long...
arriverderch... I'll be sure to send
you a thought today as I lie in the
backseat of my stretch limo, have sex
with the teenager of my choice... And
that thought will be: Thank God I'm
me!
Jack motions to techy behind glass. Then leans back in
his chair, as a RADIO COMMERCIAL begins.
His expression seems grave -- not one you would expect
after a successful broadcast. He appears tired and
annoyed. He sighs in relief that it is over. The studio
team work around him in silence -- with no indication of
the relationship they have "on air." Jack pulls out a
bottle of aspirins and takes two.
JACK
(continuing; annoyed,
to the room)
I want you all to know I'm getting
sick again and it's because someone
keeps forgetting to raise the
thermostat before I come in here...
My fucking ass is freezing for the
first hour.
A techy makes mocking faces behind his back. Another
techy suppresses a laugh.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET/INT. LIMOUSINE - DAY
CLOSEUP of a script entitled: "On The Radio," a situation
comedy by Alan Siegal.
LOU ROSEN, Jack's agent, who sits in the backseat beside
Jack, thumbing through the script and chuckling to
himself. Jack stares in silence out the window.
LOU
You know some of this is very funny.
Cheever told me they've even secured
the rights to the Donna Summer song
to play over the credits.
JACK
(deadpan indifference)
Ooooo, I have chills...
(deadpan interest)
Are you sure they want me? I won't
read unless I have an offer.
LOU
Jack, of course... Not even a
question. When I spoke to him on the
phone this morning, I could actually
smell how much they want you for it.
I could smell it over the phone.
A street bum, half dressed, walks in between the stopped
cars, banging on the windows and asking for money. He
BANGS on Jack's window. Jack stares at him through the
tinted glass.
LOU
(continuing; looking
through his pockets)
I don't think I have any change.
JACK
(adamant)
I am not opening this window.
(looks at the bum)
A couple of quarters isn't going to
make any difference anyway.
The bum looks at the reflection of himself in the
mirrored window.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
An expansive Tribeca loft. The modern, minimalist decor
gives it a sleek, cold feeling. A space full of glass,
angles and edges, with no place to feel safe and sound.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY
The mirrored door closes revealing Jack's reflection --
He takes a good look at his face in the mirror -- admiring
every contour, every pore. He mumbles as he's making
coffee.
JACK
I hate my cheeks.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jack's girlfriend, SONDRA -- an artist with a beautifully
sculptured face and body -- sleek, cold, like Jack's
apartment, she is eating a bowl of cereal, studying the
cereal box. Beside her is a sketchpad with an ink
drawing of a stalk of wheat (similar to the cereal box)
growing out of the belly button of a naked male-figure
who's torso/pelvis is shaped like a map of America. Jack
enters, toweling his hair.
JACK
Can I ask that when you clean your
hands you wipe the ink off the inside
of the sink before it stains the
stainless steel.
SONDRA
(without looking up)
You can ask.
Jack exits.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jack has in his hand the television script entitled, "On
The Radio."
SONDRA (O.S.)
Raoul called before. About dinner.
Jack quickly opens his eyes. Sondra crosses to the wall
of closets and begins to undress.
JACK
About dinner as a concept or about
dinner with...
(over-enunciating)
Raoul?
SONDRA
(deadpan)
You're so witty. I'm so jealous... I
need to get out of here, Jack, and do
something other than sit in this
apartment and count how many funny
lines you have per page.
JACK
You know, tomorrow's a very big day
for me... It would be nice if you
acted like you understood.
SONDRA
Fine. I'll say no.
JACK
They're putting me on film tomorrow.
SONDRA (O.S.)
(peeved)
Fine.
JACK
(deeply felt)
... First time in my life I'll be a
voice with a body. Do you know what
that means? What this could lead to?
SONDRA
(unsnapping her bra
in the front)
Jack, it's a sitcom -- you're not
defining Pi.
JACK
I'll remember that the next time you
get excited by drawing pubic hairs on
raisin bran.
(lighting joint and
inhaling)
Want some?
SONDRA
No, I have to work.
JACK
How un-sixties of you.
SONDRA
I was nine in the sixties.
JACK
I used to think my biography
would be JACK LUCAS - THE FACE
BEHIND THE VOICE, but now it
can be JACK LUCAS, THE FACE
"AND" THE VOICE...or maybe just
JACK - EXCLAMATION POINT...
JACK'S POV -
SONDRA slips off her top as she climbs the stairs.
JACK eyes her sexy back. Feeling sexy, he rises and follows her.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT.
SONDRA leans over and turns on the shower.
JACK naked legs enters the bathroom behind her and closes
the door. CAMERA ON BATHROOM DOOR as we hear:
SONDRA (O.S.)
(unaffected)
Jack, I have work to do too.
JACK seduces SONDRA O.S.
SONDRA (O.S.)
...Can't we do this later?...
(PAUSE)
All right..well..If we do this now, can
I have dinner with Raoul?
CUT TO:
BATHROOM FLOOR
CAMERA PANS a brown paper bag, a plate of half-eaten Chinese
food, a bottle of beer into a bathtub where JACK languishes
in a bubble bath studying his script. In the B.G. we hear
Ella Fitzgerald singing, "I'VE GOT THE WORLD ON A STRING"...
JACK
"Hey...for-...
False start. JACK clears his throat, pauses, then tries again...
(sarcastic...insincere...)
"Hey! Forgiiiive ME!"
CUT TO;
JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT.
Alarm clock reads 11:15. JACK is still rehearsing, while the
T.V. plays with no sound.
JACK
" HEY! Forgive MEEE!" ....
...FOR-GIVE-ME ...
Hey...forgive me!
(HE smiles and shuts the script:)
I have this...I really have this...
HE tosses the script aside and rubs his head. HE suddenly
notices, on the soundless T.V., a picture of himself on
a news broadcast. Confused, he raises the volume with the remote.
CUT TO:
INT. TV STATION - NEWS DESK - NIGHT.
A news broadcast: a REPORTER in mid-report.
JACK'S VOICE OVER
"...everything America stands for.
Edwin, they have to be stopped before
it's too late.... It's us or them."
REPORTER
It was Mr. Lucas's off-handed remark that
seemed to have a fatal impact on Mr.
Malnick...
CUT TO:
EXT. BABBITT'S - NIGHT.
REPORTER (V.O.)
An after work hot spot, Babbitt's
is popular with single young
professionals.
REPORTER ON SCENE (CONT'D)
Edwin Malnick arrived
at the peak hour of seven-fifteen,
took one long look at the handsome
collection of the city's best and
brightest - then removed a shotgun
from his overcoat and opened fire.
JACK'S face turns white.
CUT TO:
INT. - BABBITT'S - NIGHT.
To be INTERCUT with JACK'S APARTMENT.
The bar's glass has been blasted. Tables are overturned.
Paramedics are running about.
REPORTER
Seven people were killed before
Mr. Malnick ...
A PICTURE OF EDWIN MALNICK is shown as the REPORTER continues;
... turned the gun on himself and shot
a hole through his head....
EDWIN MALNICK looked sad and harmless. JACK quickly grabs the
PHONE and RE-PLUGS it. HE is about to make a call when he is
stopped by the REPORTER mentioning his name...
...Representatives of radio cult personality
Jack Lucas expressed regret, however
no formal comment has been made. None of Babbitt's
regulars had ever seen Edwin Malnick
before....but tonight, few will
soon forget this lonely man - who reached
out to a world he knew only through the
radio - looking for friendship...and
finding only pain...and tragedy...
This is Marc Saffron...Channel Ten news.
JACK is frozen. His breathing grows heavy.
HIS phone begins to ring. but JACK is unable to move.
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO STOP - DAY
CAMERA PANS DOWN from the tall skyscrapers to the tiny
video store that sits as if in a valley between two
mountains. PAN toward the store as we FOLLOW a customer
through the door we SUPER: A YEAR or so LATER.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP - DAY
CAMERA TRACKS through variety of customers looking
through the rentals, past the counter where employees are
helping the clientele and into the:
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE
Continuing to a CLOSE UP of the headline of a sensation-
alist tabloid -- "WOMAN KILLS PLASTIC SURGEON THEN SELF,
TOLD FRIENDS; I CAN'T BLINK WITHOUT PAIN."
The picture of a bug-eyed society woman is below the
caption. A hand comes out from behind the paper,
reaching for a bottle of scotch on the table. The bottle
disappears behind the paper.
ANNE, the owner of the store, enters abruptly -- closing
the office door behind her, a cigarette dangling for her
mouth. Her desk is organized litter -- her walls are
filled with porno tapes. She searches for one as she
talks:
ANNE
These people are insane today.
They took insane pills...
A bit about Anne as she searches for a video: Anne is in
her mid-to-late thirties... and she is all woman! She
has a raw, earthy, unmistakable sensuality. Her red
lipstick matches her red nail polish like a hat and glove
set. Inlaid on each nail is a rhinestone design of a
little star. Her angora sweaters are tight and clinging,
giving her breasts a decided lift and perkiness. Her
backless pumps slap the ground. A half-smoked cigarette
hangs out of her mouth with great expertise -- a skill
Anne obviously picked up in a high school bathroom. Her
voice is thick with a delicious Brooklyn twang.
She is pure streetwise in attitude, philosophy and emotions.
She turns and speaks to the man behind the tabloid.
ANNE
(continuing)
Hey! Mr. Happiness!
The man lowers the newspaper: it is Jack Lucas: no
longer the aggressive radio star but more -- a man who
looks like he hasn't slept in months. An intolerant,
paranoid, self-pitying misanthrope. The outrageous
articles fascinate him. Anne removes the paper and
scotch bottle.
ANNE
(continuing)
Are we going to work today or what?
Jack stares back. Anne waits for an answer. Jack looks
through the open office door and sees the store is packed
with rush hour customers -- any one, a potential mass
murderer.
ANNE
(continuing)
Hello!!!
Jack jumps a bit then rises and crosses out the door
cautiously.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP - DAY
Jack's POV -- CAMERA MOVES "cautiously," taking in the
crowd as they move about the walls of movies. Suddenly,
the giant face of a FRUMPY SECRETARY -- POPS INTO FRAME.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
(to JACK)
Can you help me!...
Jack subtly shudders at the surprise. He stares deadpan.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
(continuing)
... I'm at an absolute loss. I've
been looking for an hour -- I'm
losing my mind.
(overly dramatic,
rambling on)
... I'm sort of in the mood for a
Katharine Hepburny, Cary Granty kinda
thing -- Nothing heavy... I couldn't
take heavy. Somethin' zany. I need
zany.
JACK stares at her, at a loss. SHE gets an inspiration.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
...OH! OH! Do you have anything with that...
comedian who's on that show? What's it -
ON THAT RADIO! Ya know, the guy that
says "HEY...FORGIVE ME...!
JACK grins his teeth and stares like a madman while ANNE,
aware of the affect this phrase has on him, throws a worried
look from the cash register. The FRUMPY SECRETARY laughs:
FRUMPY SECRETARY
I get such a kick outta the way
he says that...He's so adorable!
Didn't he make a movie...
I need something like that -
a funny, no brainy kinda thing.
JACK stares at the woman manically then turns to the shelves of
movies behind the desk. Selecting one, he hands it to her.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
Great...
(reading box aloud)
"ORDINARY PEEPHOLES"
THE WOMAN'S eyes go wide. JACK stares at her deadpan.
JACK
It's kind of a - Big Titty-
Spread Cheeky kinda thing...
ANNE, who has heard this entire exchange, has to bite her
lip to prevent herself from laughing...SHE pulls JACK away.
ANNE
...I'm sorry.
(almost laughing)
I need to borrow him for a moment.
As ANNE tugs at his sleeve, JACK eyes the WOMAN like a maniac
being lead away from his prey.
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE - DAY.
ANNE stands before JACK who leans against her office door.
ANNE
Are you in a mood today baby? Is this one of
those days when you're in ...whadda call it...
an emotional abyss? Talk to me, cause I don't
understand these moods.
JACK
Anne, they're MY moods. If you want to
understand moods, have one of your own!
ANNE
Why don't you go upstairs... take the day off.
All right?...I'll cook tonight.
SHE kisses him, then exits. JACK is not comforted in the least
by this show of affection - especially when he notices her bra
strap sticking out from her sweater.
JACK
Are you going for a specific look with this?
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT ABOVE VIDEO POP - NIGHT (RAINING)
Anne and Jack sit around a formica kitchen table in
silence after eating dinner. Anne smokes a cigarette. A
portable TV sits on a stand before them --
SITCOM ON TV (INTERCUT WITH ANNE'S APT.)
We hear a STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING on the TV... Anne
herself can't help but laugh. She snorts from trying to
keep it in. Jack shoots her a dirty look.
ANNE
Well, it's funny! Whatta want from
me?
JACK
It's not funny. It's... sophomoric
and mindless... and dumb.
ANNE
Then why the hell do we watch all the
time?
JACK
(in one breath)
Because it makes me feel good to see
how not funny it is and how America
doesn't know the first thing about
funny which makes it easier not being
a famous funny TV celebrity because
that would just mean that I'm not
really talented.
TV ACTOR (V.O.)
Well forgiivvee meee...
APPLAUSE and LAUGHTER... Anne just stares at Jack.
ANNE
You're a sick fuck... I don't know
why you torture yourself.
(she hits his head)
Too many thoughts -- too crowded in
there. You should read a book.
She picks up her paperback and begins to read.
JACK
It's important to think. It's what
separates us from lentils... and
people who read books like...
(reading her paperback
cover)
... "Love's Flower Bed."
He gets up to get a drink from Anne's makeshift bar.
ANNE
(defensive)
It happens to be a beautiful love
story.
(hurt)
Ya know, you used to like that about
me. You used to say you liked that I
didn't make you think so much. That
we could be together and not think...
JACK
Yeah, well... suicidal paranoiacs say
funny things sometimes.
Anne is deeply hurt by this. She gathers her dignity and
exits into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Jack downs his drink as the sitcom returns to the TV O.S.
TV ACTOR (V.O.)
I hope when I'm your age you're
finally dead!
Big LAUGHTER.
JACK
Madness.
Fed up, Jack throws his coat on, storms out and slams the
door.
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO POP - NIGHT (RAINY)
Jack exits into the rain, tearing his coat on the front
door.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Jack, depressed and wet, walks the streets of New York.
CUT TO:
EXT. JACK'S OLD APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Jack stands before his old building, looking at it
longingly.
CUT TO:
EXT. PLAZA HOTEL - NIGHT - RAIN
A wet Jack stops to watch the goings on at the entrance.
He sees a limousine at the Plaza -- parked and awaiting
its occupants. A handsome man in his forties exits the
hotel and walks toward the limo. He is holding the hand
of his six year old SON, who is carrying a two foot high
plastic, smiling Pinnochio doll. Both father and son are
dressed in ties and jackets. Jack watches in envy. His
ripped, wet clothes a shabby reflection of the man's. He
eyes the limo with longing. As the man tips the doorman,
a BUM approaches and asks for money. When the man
refuses and turns his back to enter the limp, the Bum
becomes aggressive and starts pulling at the man's jacket
and yells:
BUM
Merry fucking Christmas... Happy
fucking New Year!!
He continues to harass the man, who pushes his son away.
The doorman comes to the man's rescue. As they both try
to pull the Bum off the man, the six year old son notices
Jack and walks calmly over.
Jack, mesmerized by the scene, doesn't notice the Boy.
BOY (O.S.)
Mr. Bum.
Jack looks down. The Boy stands directly before him.
Jack sort of smiles. The Boy extends his arms and offers
the Pinnochio doll to Jack. Jack is confused but the Boy
simply deposits the doll into his arms and walks back to
the limo. By that time, the Bum is being held by the
doorman, and both father and son enter the limo.
Jack holds the doll. He is surrounded by street people
asleep or drunk on the sidewalk near the hotel. He
angrily realizes there's not much difference between him
and them.
JACK
Anybody here named Jimeny?
A drunk groans. Jack snaps the doll under his arm and
walks O.S.
CUT TO:
STATUE NEAR PLAZA - RAIN
TIGHT SHOT of newspaper front page on sidewalk... Headline
reads: "FIFTH HOMELESS MAN FOUND BURNED ALIVE"... CAMERA
MOVES OUT to reveal that the paper is covering the head of
a street person sleeping on the edge of the stone, flowered
dividers on Park Ave... CAMERA PANS OVER to a drunken Jack,
sitting on the sidewalk against the divider, having a
conversation with Pinnochio beside him.
JACK
You ever read any Nietzsche?...
The smiling Pinnochio clearly has not.
JACK
(continuing)
... Nieztsche says that there are two
kinds of people in this world...
People who are destined for greatness
like... Walt Disney and... Hitler...
and then there's the rest of us... He
called us the Bungled and Botched.
We get teased. We sometimes get
close to greatness but we never get
there. We're the expendable masses.
We get pushed in front of trains...
take poison aspirins... get gunned
down in Dairy Queens...
He drinks from his Jack Daniels bottle...
JACK
(continuing)
You wanna hear my new title for my
biography, my little Italian
friend... "It Was No Fucking Picnic -
The Jack Lucas Story". Like it?...
Just nod yes or no...
(tries it in Pig-Italian)
"Il Nouva Esta Fuckin' Pinicko" --
(he smiles)
You're a good kid... Just say no to
drugs...
(he nods and drinks)
Ya ever get the feeling sometimes...
you're being punished for your
sins...?
CUT TO:
EXT. EAST RIVER, NEW YORK CITY - NIGHT
CLOSEUP of two feet standing beneath the railing
overlooking the East River. Taped to one ankle is a
brick. Taped to the other is a brick around a smiling
Pinnochio doll. An empty bottle of liquor drops to the
ground and shatters.
Jack stands prepared to surrender his fate and make the
final leap. He stares at the river, almost smiling. He
has made his decision. He is calm and serene. He raises
his foot over the railing.
The headlights of a car drive INTO FRAME, illuminating
Jack. He turns to see:
LEATHER (O.S.)
What's going on?...
Two white upperclass JUEVENILE DELINQUENTS -- one wearing
a leather jacket, the other a high school windbreaker --
get out of the car. Each is carrying a gallon of
gasoline. Leather also carries a bat. Jack is drunk but
he is immediately aware of the danger when he spots the
gasoline cans.
LEATHER
I said what's going on?
(walks up to Jack)
What are you doing here?
Jack shakes his head and before he knows it, Leather
shoves the bat into his gut, sinking Jack to his knees.
Windbreaker places the gasoline cans on the bench and
begins to unscrew them.
LEATHER
(continuing)
You shouldn't hang around this
neighborhood.
JACK
(clutching his stomach)
I... I was just leaving.
LEATHER
People spend a lot of hard earned
money for this neighborhood. It's
not fair... looking out their windows
to see your ass asleep on the
streets...
JACK
Yes... I... I agree...
LEATHER
Good.
(to Windbreaker)
You believe this drunk?
Windbreaker shakes his head.
LEATHER
(continuing)
.....Me neither.
JACK
No...No please...!
WINDBREAKER hands LEATHER the can, who raises it above JACK'S
head. AS THE GASOLINE SLOWLY LEAKS ONTO A PETRIFIED JACK SEES A
FIGURE MOVING OUT FROM THE DARKNESS.
FIGURE
All hope abandon, ye who enter here!
Startled, THE YOUTHS TURN to the shadows.
LEATHER
What the-....
AN ARROW with a rubber suction tip comes flying out of the
dark and connects to WINDBREAKER's groin.
WINDBREAKER
AHHH!
A FIGURE stands backlit - mysterious and powerful, noble and
fearless. JACK, LEATHER and WINDBREAKER instinctually bond
together in the face of this fourth unknown entity.
The figure turns out to be a BUM. Grimy face, tattered layers
of clothing beneath a long over coat, a pork pie hat with a
twig sticking out of it like a plume in a helmet of yore.
Over his shoulder, a homemade bow and arrow set.
Although clearly downtrodden, behind his beaten appearance, there
radiates a calm intelligence and strength. There is something
distinctly attractive and confident about him. We learn later
his name is PARRY; a combination of Don Quixote and Harpo Marx.
PARRY stands before them absolutely delighted with himself -
hand on hip - beaming with pride..
PARRY
Unhand that degenerate - you adolescent ass
of a one balled donkey!
LEATHER
It's just a bum...You know, there's
enough in here for the two of you.
PARRY
(a la Glinda)
Ha, ha, ha, ha rubbish...now begone...before
somebody drops a house on you!...
LEATHER walks right up to PARRY.
LEATHER
You a fag too?
PARRY
Fag..a fag you say!?...
"Curst wolf! Thy fury inward on thyself
Pray and consume thee!"
LEATHER
Fuck you.
PARRY notices a pimple on LEATHER'S cheek.
PARRY
Oooo...that looks like it hurts.
HE presses the zit.
LEATHER
OWWW....What are you nuts?!
PARRY
BINGO! Tell the man what he's won!
WINDBREAKER grabs PARRY, pinning his arms behind him.
WINDBREAKER laughs. PARRY just turns his head and stares into
his eyes, causing WINDBREAKER to feel weird.
PARRY
I advise you to let us go.
LEATHER
You advise us!
PARRY
You're out numbered son.
PARRY glances over LEATHER's shoulder. LEATHER TURNS to see:
A BUM pushing a shopping cart comes out of the darkness. HE
is mumbling to himself incoherently. Another BUM, appears from
the dark, unnerving WINDBREAKER. PARRY looks to a third
BUM, stepping out of the dark, menacingly.
Taken by themselves, the BUMS would look harmless and pathetic.
But in the context of their uncharacteristic organization -
THEY appear frightening.
LEATHER and WINDBREAKER automatically whip out switchblades
and take a "rumble" stance - as if protecting their
catch, Jack. Jack sort of sides with them if for no other
reason than - he's known them longer.
LEATHER tries to remain confident. HE laughs.
LEATHER
Come on! Go for it!
What the hell are they gonna do?
They can't do nothin!
PARRY
Nothing! They can do nothing!
Gentlemen!
PARRY takes a few steps back and raises his hand.
JACK stands close to LEATHER and WINDBREAKER, who prepare
themselves for attack.
PARRY lowers his hand which acts as a signal for the BUMS.
The BUMS reach into their coats and each pull out a FLASHLIGHT,
which they shine at each other as THEY SING:
THREE BUMS
I like New York in June...How about you?
I like a Gershwin tune...How about you?
JACK, LEATHER and WINDBREAKER are at a loss. The BUMS aren't
getting all the words, but they're definitely in sync.
PARRY lowers his hand proudly. The BUMS keep singing and turn
their flashlights upon JACK, LEATHER and WINDBREAKER - blinding
them to PARRY.
WINDBREAKER
Shit.
LEATHER brandishes his knife towards the dark spot where he
thinks PARRY stands. But PARRY takes a flying step back.
As he speaks, the Bums stop singing and hum the song.
PARRY
Son...There comes a time in
every man's life...and you will
learn this, if and when you become men...
From his hat, PARRY pulls a long tube sock tied at the
end and filled with a softball at the bottom...
PARRY
....That there are only three things in
this world ya need...
HE begins to swing the sock over his head - centrifugally
gaining force.
PARRY
...Respect for all kinds of life,
....the love of one other person who
you can trust and pork on a regular basis
...and a nice navy blazer...Oh, and one
more thing....always... keep your eye....
on the ball!
PARRY releases the "weapon".
The sock flies out of the darkness and, with amazing
accuracy - beans LEATHER on the forehead between his eyes. HE
drops his knife to rub his head. HE sinks out of camera:
LEATHER
Ow...Ow....OW!
WINDBREAKER grows worried as PARRY reaches in to the lining
of his coat, pulls out another "sock weapon" and starts swinging.
PARRY
However, the ability to bean
a shithead can be a fabulous advantage.
WINDBREAKER runs to the car and drives away.
PARRY crosses to a speechless JACK.
PARRY
(picking up LEATHER'S knife)
Are you all right?
LEATHER
(kneeling, rubbing his head)
OWW...MAN...
JACK
(disoriented)
Please don't hurt me?
PARRY
"OH beings blind! What ignorance besets you!
PARRY kneels down, pulls out some rope from his coat and proceeds
to tie up LEATHER, who is disoriented and dazed. PARRY hands
JACK LEATHER'S knife. Sickened by it, JACK flings it in the water.
LEATHER
You can't leave me tied up out here
alone, you fucking faggot!
PARRY
(PULLS DOWN LEATHERS PANTS, EXPOSING HIS BUTT)
You won't be alone for long.
PARRY pulls out a triangle and begins ringing it.
JACK
I need a drink.
PARRY
I know a great place.
(Raising his hand HE calls to BUM 1:)
...UH...WARREN!
BUMS (O.C.)
I like New York in June...How about-....
PARRY
(overlapping)
NO..GUYS...GUYS....
(to JACK)
They're so proud.
CUT TO:
EXT. A LOT BENEATH THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE - NIGHT.
A violent explosion between warring factions of bums, who
are defending territories and rights....
CUT TO:
Jack and Parry sit facing the three Bums from the previous
scene - A Black, A middle-aged Irishman and an Ex-Hippy -
and the Pinnochio Doll. The Foursome sit against the giant
base of the bridge discussing the issues of the day as they pass
a bottle. OTHER BUM CLIQUES are scattered throughout the lot.
BLACK
...There ain't no justice in life! There's
just satisfaction. And the death
penalty's just another violation of my
constitutional right to satisfaction Goddamn it.
IRISHMAN
(a lit cigarette hangs from his mouth)
I hate that.
HIPPIE
So, you mean if somebody like, killed
your mother, you wouldn't want him dead?
BLACK
Sure I would. But I should get to kill him Goddamn it.
IRISHMAN
(explaining further)
He gets to kill him. That's democracy, see.
A LULL takes over as they all consider this.
JACK sitting the furthest apart from the group, looks like he's
in the middle of a nightmare.
JACK
(mumbles to himself)
This is it. I'm in hell. Damned to
an eternity of idiotic conversation.
PARRY
(leans in and smiles)
Great place huh?
The Irishman lets out a bloodcurtling scream:
PARRY
(responds)
AAAAHHHH!
JACK jumps. Irishman looks to PARRY & speaks in calm monotone:
IRISHMAN
How are you tonight?
PARRY
Fine John and you?
IRISHMAN
Can't complain.
The IRISHMAN absent mindedly flicks his cigarette ashes onto
JACK'S SLEEVE, which is soaked with gasoline. The SLEEVE IGNITES
JACK panics - waving his is arm, trying to get it out.
PARRY is both amazed and impressed - seeing it as a sign.
The bums talk casually as JACK tries to rip off his coat.
BLACK
Crazy fuck.
HIPPY
(to IRISHMAN)
So what do you think of the death penalty?
IRISHMAN
Death's definitely a penalty. Ain't
no fucking gift. Life's too goddamn short.
With the fire out, JACK tries to leave, saying:
JACK
I better be going...
IRISHMAN
(thrusting the bottle at him)
Have a drink...don't be shy!
(JACK sits quickly)
PARRY
I think they like you.
This worries Jack. PARRY retrieves him and brings him back
to the group.
The IRISHMAN removes the bottle from his saliva soaked mouth and
hands it to JACK, who is disgusted:
JACK
Oh no that's all-
BLACK
DRINK! GODDAMN IT!
JACK grabs the bottle and drinks - holding back his nausea.
PARRY
Would anyone like a fruit pie?
THREE BUMS (O.C.)
No thank you...Too sweet...to fattening...Goddamn it.
JACK feels sick as the cheap liquor running through him.
IRISHMAN begins reciting a Chaucer passage in old English.
The BLACK stares off, half listening. PARRY turns to JACK,
his face beaming, he clasps his hands and says:
PARRY
Et in arcadia ego.
HIPPY
Man...Why did God invent mediocrity?
This remark acts like a slap in the face to JACK. The others
consider it in silence - not really knowing what it means.
The cheap liquor begins to take it's effect and from JACK'S POV,
WE FADE OUT OF THE SCENE ON THE NEXT LINES - AS HE CLOSE HIS EYES
AND SLIPS INTO A DRUNKEN SLUMBER.
HIPPIE (O.C.)
You were phenominal tonight, Parry.
(affirmations from the other two)
SUPER-BUM, man! Fucking Marvel Comics...
FADE-OUT.
FADE-UP ON:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT HIDEAWAY - MORNING.
JACK is asleep on a mattress beside a boiler spewing steam.
HE is slowly awakened by water dripping on his cheek - -
- the first dull pangs of a mean hangover making itself known.
HE opens his eyes, confused -- not knowing exactly what
happened.
CUT TO:
THE GIANT FACE OF PARRY
lying parallel beside him -- like a kid waiting for his
parents to wake up Xmas morning.
PARRY
(loud and cheery)
How are you feeling?
Jarred, Jack nods suspiciously. He notices the
surroundings --
JACK
Have I died?
PARRY
(friendly)
Hahahahaaa... Nononono... Not yet...
Hahahaha...
JACK
(his head throbbing)
If you're going to murder me, that's
fine... just don't laugh.
He tries to focus his eyes and looks around the room:
there is an extremely organized "living area" -- a make-
shift kitchen with hot plate, a nail in a wall with
clothes on hangers... There is also a dumpster sitting
beneath a garbage chute -- The dumpster has planets and
stars painted on its side.
Jack looks to the far wall and sees a handmade collage
mural: pictures cut out and pasted in a haphazard
manner, all medieval in origin; grassy landscape with
castles, knights and maidens on horses, crests and
symbols of the Crusades, and various renditions of the
Holy Grail... One maiden stands out from the rest -- a
frail looking doe-like creature.
On the adjacent wall, however, there are no pictures.
Only frantic scribblings in red marker... Out of the
scribblings we can see: an evil looking face with a bear
amateurishly drawn... a large red horse drawn as if it
hurt to get out the image... the style is violent and
erratic.
Jack looks to the other wall and finds Parry's arsenal
-- homemade "weapons" that also look medieval, like
lances made from mop sticks, nets made of knotted rope,
slingshots and a shield made from a garbage can cover
with a rose painted on it. Against each wall are piled,
what seems to be hundreds of books. Jack doesn't know
what to make of all this. He is frightened.
JACK
Where am I?
PARRY
My abode... My domicile... My neck of
the woods... Hungry? Breakfast? A
fruit pie perhaps?
JACK
No... thanks... Listen --
PARRY
My name is Parry.
JACK
(realizes he's barefoot)
Hi... Where are my shoes?
PARRY
They're --
(suddenly stands)
-- What?
JACK
(jumps)
Where -- ?
PARRY
(to the air)
What!?
JACK
What?!
PARRY
Sshhhh!
Parry looks like he's listening to someone. Then he
smiles broadly at Jack, which makes Jack worry even more.
PARRY
(continuing; to the
air)
I knew it! I knew it last night!
(beat; argues)
I did too! He's the one!
He kneels beside Jack, which makes Jack lean up against
the boiler.
PARRY
(continuing)
... Can you keep a secret?
Jack shakes his head.
PARRY
(continuing)
Do you know what the Little People
just told me?
JACK
The Little People?
PARRY
They said you're The One.
JACK
I'm the one what?
PARRY
(stands abruptly)
Oh shut up!!!
He picks up a can of wintergreen air freshener and starts
spraying, with violent strokes, to shut "them" up... Jack
gets more nauseous from the smell... Parry yells to the
air:
PARRY
(continuing)
... I've got a right to say
something. I mean, you're tying my
hands here!
(to Jack)
They say you're not ready to know.
JACK
I'm not...
(to himself)
Now, where are those shoes...
Jack makes a move to stand when Parry stops spraying and
yells:
PARRY
Hheeyy!!
Jack sits back down. Parry whispers to the air:
PARRY
(continuing)
... You're frightening him!
Parry kneels before him. Jack presses against the
boiler.
PARRY
(continuing)
... Do you know who I am?
JACK
Uhh... I'm drawing a blank.
PARRY
Take a guess...
(shouts to the air)
Let him guess!! Tch.
He goes for the air freshener but Jack's reply stops him.
JACK
Uh... gee... well... you seem to be
some kind of vigilante...
PARRY
No, no... I mean that sort of happens
along the way but no...
(proudly)
I'm on a very special quest.
JACK
A quest?
PARRY
But I need help and they sent you.
JACK
(clarifying)
The Little...
PARRY
They work for Him.
JACK
Him...?
PARRY
(leans in to whisper)
God... I'm the janitor of God.
Jack's face drops. Parry gets comfortable and explains
casually:
PARRY
(continuing)
... They came to me about a year ago.
I was sitting on the john having one
of the most satisfying bowel
movements -- you know the ones --
where you just see God... And I saw
them... just floating around...
hundreds of these... cute little fat
people... And they spoke. They said
"I" was chosen to help them get back
something very important they lost.
But my part might be very dangerous.
I said "Whoah".... slow down... ya
start hearing voices from floating
little fat people that tell you
you're on a mission for God and you
wind up in a mini-series. Then they
said "Look in Architecture Today, Feb
'88... page 33..."
Parry quickly crosses to a pile of magazines, grabs one
and dives back to Jack, who keeps scanning for his shoes.
Parry leafs through the magazine and opens to page 33.
PARRY
(continuing)
And there it was... plain as day.
He shows Jack a feature about Langdon Carmichael, a
Malcolm Forbes type real estate baron. The five page
pictorial depicts his ten million dollar restoration of
an old N.Y. Armory into a palatial city home. Caption
reads: "REAL ESTATE BILLIONAIRE LANGDON CARMICHAEL'S
TOWER OF POWER"...
JACK
Langdon Carmichael?
Carmichael himself -- a dashing bachelor around fifty-
five -- is shown standing in his private library beside a
glass commode. Parry points to inside the commode, where
a golden chalice is displayed.
PARRY
It's the Grail... The Holy Grail.
He indicates the pictures on the collage. Jack's losing
it.
JACK
The Holy Grail? Some billionaire has
the Holy Grail sitting in a commode
on Madison Avenue?
PARRY
I know! You can't imagine how
surprised I was. Who would think you
could find anything divine on the
Upper East Side.
JACK
(annoyed now)
Listen... I don't mean to be flippant
or to enrage you or anything but...
you're an imbecile. And I'm not The
One... I'm not any One...
Parry tries to speak but:
JACK
(continuing)
I think you're a very nice... very
nice psychotic man. I really
appreciate what you did for me. It
was a very brave and noble thing...
PARRY
Oh, please... you're embarrassing me.
JACK
(rising)
I wish you all the luck in the world.
When you get the Grail, I'm sure I'll
be seeing lots of you on various talk
shows...
PARRY
(upset)
But I can't get it... He's...
He runs to the wall with the scribblings in red and
indicates the evil face with the beard... He picks up a
red marker and begins scribbling furiously -- adding to
the face and the horse...
PARRY
(continuing)
He's out there... I don't know if...
He's always out there, see... and...
He drops the marker and smiles to Jack...
PARRY
(continuing)
See, you don't know him... That's why
you're the one... You can get it...
JACK
Listen, forget the shoes. I'll just
take a cab... Uh...
PARRY
Parry.
JACK
Parry... I'm Jack.
PARRY
I know...
Parry rushes to a corner and gets Jack's shows and
Pinnochio doll, then rushes to Jack and hands them over.
JACK
Thanks... You can keep the doll.
PARRY
Thanks a mill --
(like a corporate exec)
And I'll give you a buzz as soon as I
hear from the people upstairs and
we'll get this thing off the
ground... Thanks for stopping by,
Jack. Give my love to the wife and
kids.
Parry grabs Jack's hand and shakes it.
JACK
I'm not married.
PARRY
Funny -- you look married.
Horrified, Jack makes a hasty exit.
CUT TO:
INT. BROWNSTONE HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER
Jack steps out of what appears to be the entrance to the
basement. He walks down the hallway toward the front
exit when suddenly an apartment door swings open. FRANK,
a burly black superintendent with a hearing aid, steps
out.
FRANK
Where you comin' from?!
JACK
Uh... basement I think...
FRANK
(yells to basement)
I tell him no visitors!!!
Jack's hangover sets off another explosion.
JACK
Sorry... I...
WIFE (O.S.)
Fraaaaankkk! Who's at the door?!
Jack glances through the half-opened door and sees the
bottom half of Frank's wheelchair bound WIFE: one leg is
normal, the other is a pink prosthetic. Both, however,
are wearing furry mules. Jack's nightmare doesn't seem
to end.
FRANK
I'm talkin' to somebody. Ya gotta
yell like a banshee?!!
WIFE (O.S.)
It's just my manner!
FRANK
(hard of hearing)
What?
WIFE (O.S.)
I said it's just my manner!!!
Jack's head is now nearly split down the middle.
FRANK
You a friend of Parry's?
JACK
No...
(trying to clear his
vision)
He is supposed to live there?
FRANK
Yeah, well... I let him stay there.
What else could I do after such a
tragedy?
JACK
Tragedy?
FRANK
(dying to tell)
He and his wife was were at some bar
..and some nut came in with a shotgun
and blew the place apart. She was a beautiful
girl...She never knew what hit her.
Jack goes numb. He can't believe his ears. HE leans
against the wall for support....CAMERA ON Jack as
Frank continues O.S.
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
....You must have heard about it. That
nut who listened to the radio?
LIGHT CHANGE on Jack against the bare wall. (Perhaps even
the scenery is moved behind him) as we fade out Frank's voice.
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
Parry's not his real name. His real
name's Henry Sa....
- - And fade in Anne's voice...
ANNE (V.O.)
..Listen. I understand about open
relationships. Please. I was a teenager
in the sixties after all....I understand!
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE - DAY.
Anne sits at her desk, surrounded by her shelves of porno
tapes. Jack sits before her looking like death warmed over.
Frank's voice reverbs in his head as he half listens to Anne.
ANNE
....But when you care about somebody
ya need more than an open relationship.
Ya need a phone call.
Her intercom RINGS. Anne's tone immediately changes:
ANNE
(continuing)
WHAT!....
EMPLOYEE (V.O.)
A guy wants to check out the
pornos...
ANNE
So send him back!
(she flicks off the
intercom and returns
to Jack, softly)
... Ya need to pick up the phone and
tell me that you're not dead... that
you haven't been attacked or raped or
who knows. You disappear last night.
I don't know what to think. I was up
all night. Look at you!
A meek, fiftyish BUSINESSMAN has entered and begins to
browse through the porno videos discreetly.
JACK
I'm sorry.
ANNE
I smell gas... Do you smell gas...
She and the Businessman exchange glances. Jack is about
to respond when Anne continues:
ANNE
(continuing)
I can't tell you how distraught I
was. All night long. What the hell
happened?
JACK
I was attacked.
ANNE
What!
JACK
Two kids tried to set me on fire.
ANNE
Oh my God... What did they do! My
God!!!
She crosses to Jack and hugs him... The Businessman turns
with a concerned look, having overheard. Jack indicates
to Anne that he feels awkward in front of the
Businessman. Anne confronts the Businessman with as
little tact as possible.
ANNE
(continuing)
Are you almost done?!
BUSINESSMAN
(flustered)
Well...
ANNE
Whatta looking for -- a story!?
(makes a selection)
Here... "Creamer Versus Creamer"...
It won an award.
Jack hides his face so as not to laugh. Anne ushers the
man out.
ANNE
(continuing)
You were attacked. My God. Should I
call a doctor! Did you call the
police...
JACK
No, I'm fine... really...
ANNE
You're all right... you sure...
Jack nods. So, Anne moves on to more important matters.
ANNE
(continuing)
... So... where did you sleep last
night?
JACK
I... I stayed at a friend's. Listen,
I --
ANNE
(puts up her hand)
Please... before you go on... let me
tawk... okay... We've had a wonderful
time together... When we first met,
you said this wasn't serious and I
shouldn't get serious and then you
moved in and we haven't been serious.
And I just wanna say that I have no
regrets. None. And don't wanna have
any now so I want ya to be up front
with me... I want the truth.
If you're seein' somebody else, let
me know... You don't have to pour
gasoline on yourself and light a
match just to break up with me. Just
tell me the truth.
Jack looks to her -- somewhat admiring the bravery and
integrity underneath the peasant stock.
JACK
I'm not seeing anyone else. I really
was attacked.
ANNE
Okay.
(satisfied, she struts
to her desk)
... I love you...
Jack smiles weakly.
ANNE
(continuing)
... You don't have to say it back...
although it wouldn't kill you. I'll
cook tonight.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT ABOVE THE STORE - NIGHT
Anne and Jack have just finished eating dinner.
JACK
You know what the Holy Grail is?
Anne takes a long drag then puts it out in her leftover
food. Jack is repelled by the habit.
ANNE
The Holy Grail? Yeah... I know that.
It was like -- Jesus' juice glass.
Jack just stares at her.
ANNE
(continuing)
Oh, I used to be such a Catholic.
JACK
You still believe in God?
ANNE
Oh sure... Gotta believe in God.
(trying to be
intellectual)
But I don't think God made man in his
own image. No. 'Cause most of...
the bullshit that happens, is because
of men. No, I think man was made out
of the devil's image and women were
created out of God -- because women
can have babies which is sorta like
creating, and which also explains why
women are attracted to men, because,
lets face it, the devil is a helluva
lot more interesting -- I slept with
a few saints and let me tell you...
Booooorring!!!... And so the whole
point of life, I think, is for men
and women to get married so the devil
and God can live together and, ya
know -- work it out...
(Anne moves to him and
leans in for a kiss)
... Not that we have to get married.
Jack notices a brown spot on her chin and pulls away.
JACK
... You have a little... uh...
something on your face...
ANNE
Oh, I got a pimple... This stuff is
supposed to blend with my skin
color... Like it really works, ya
know...
Jack moves to the bar to fix a drink. Anne follows him
and takes the drink out of his hand. Jack knows what
this means.
JACK
I don't think I'm up to it tonight...
Anne massages his shoulders.
JACK
I had a very traumatic experience...
I...
Anne nods but keeps massaging. As long as he wasn't with
a woman, she doesn't care. Her massaging gets more
intense -- moving up his head and contorting his face as
he speaks.
JACK
(continuing)
I think I'm getting sick...
(trying to be
forceful)
I... I slept in a boiler room,
Anne... I'm tired... I'm upset...
I'm... just not in the mood!... Okay!
Anne grabs his face with both hands and pulls him into a
kiss. She proceeds to climb onto his body as she
utilizes a skill she picked up in high school make-out
parties. She is a pro. Jack, against all his better
judgement and will -- despite the pimple cream -- is
rendered helpless by this woman's passion... He returns
the embrace and guides her to the floor.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Jack sits in his underwear on the living room floor
before an open closet with a cardboard box between his
legs. The box is filled with tapes of Jack's past radio
shows. He begins to sort through them... reading titles,
remembering moments... then stops when he comes upon
newspaper clippings of the murder at Babbitt's. Edwin
Malnick's face stares at him from a yellowed front page.
The memories sour. He moves to the bar. Anne exits the
bedroom.
ANNE
Whatsa matter, hon -- can't sleep?
She sees the radio tapes.
JACK
I tell you something, Anne. I really
feel like I'm cursed.
ANNE
Oh stop. Things will change. My
Aunt Mary always said, there's a
remedy for everything in this world
except death and having no class.
JACK
I get this feeling like I'm... a
magnet but I attract shit. Out of
all the people in this city, why did
I meet a man who's wife I killed?
ANNE
You didn't kill anybody. Stop.
JACK
I wish there was some way I could...
just... pay the fine and go home.
Anne crosses to Jack and gently touches him. Jack turns
and clutches her to him tightly. Lowering his head to
hers, he cries...
ANNE
I know. I know, honey.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT - THE NEXT DAY
Jack is alone in the basement. He slowly walks around
the room -- picking up little items here and there, as if
trying to discover some clue to Parry. He scans the
titles of the piles of books. All of them have something
to do with medieval history or literature, myths, or the
Crusades... He picks up one of the books and opens it...
Page after page has been ripped out anywhere there might
have been a picture or a diagram. He comes upon a large
scroll that he unravels. It is a map, drawn by Parry, of
Langdon Carmichael's house and the surrounding blocks...
He rolls it up... The Pinnochio doll sits on a broken
chair facing the wall with the nightmarish scribblings...
acting like a sentinel.
He crosses to the prominent picture of the maiden with
the long hair. He notices a small stand before the
picture, with a candle. It is like a shrine with
offerings: a flower, a small perfume sampler, a box of
Jawbreakers candy and a dime store romance novel. Jack
doesn't understand.
FRANK (O.S.)
Can I help you?
JACK
I'm... just looking for Parry...
FRANK
He's not here.
Jack is drawn to the scribblings on the wall and makes
out the faint shape of a man on a horse.
JACK
What did you say his name used to be?
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - DAY
CLOSEUP - duffel bag of Parry's things before Jack.
FRANK (O.S.)
Hospital said it would be better if
we kept certain things away from him.
Frank speaks O.S. as Jack looks through the items: ... a
Master's degree in Medieval History... Another in
Medieval Literature...
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
... That's his real name -- Henry
Sagan. He was a teacher over at
Columbia. They kept him in some
mental place on Staten Island... He
did not speak for over a year then
all of a sudden, he starts talkin'
only now he's this Parry guy.
... A torn picture of Parry in a tux... his wedding
ring... a thesis entitled THE FISHER KING, A MYTHIC
JOURNEY FOR MODERN MAN... Frank continues:
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
... He used to live upstairs with his
wife, so when he got released they
sent him here. I felt bad. He
couldn't work. Nobody wanted him.
So I let him stay in the basement.
He helps out -- I give him a couple
of dollars. People throw things away
he gets them.
Jack holds a beautiful photographic portrait of Parry's
wife:
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
...She was a beautiful girl.
He was crazy about her.
CUT TO:
EXT. A LOT BENEATH THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE - DAY.
The BLACK, the IRISHMAN and the HIPPY are in their usual
place. THEY lean against the wall, observing the afternoon
life that walks by. JACK enters the scene and asks them where
PARRY is. The HIPPY begins to speak and points to his right.
JACK nods in appreciation and hands them a couple of dollars.
CUT TO:
EXT. CORNER OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN LIFE BUILDING-LATER THAT DAY.
JACK approaches PARRY from across the street; he is sitting on
top of a car near a souvlaki vendor and eyeing A CLOCK TOWER
across the street and to the left of the building. HE studies
the time as he recites under his breath (we only hear excerpts);
PARRY
"Soveriegn princess of his captive heart
what dire affliction has thou made me
suffer, thus banished from thy presence
with reproach, and fettered by thy rigorous
command, not to appear again before thy
beautiful face. Deign princess, to remember
this thy faithful slave, who now endures
such misery for love of thee"....
JACK
Parry!
PARRY smiles casually and, without looking at Jack, says:
PARRY
Hi Jack...
HE then returns his gaze to the clock which is approaching NOON.
JACK reaches in his pockets and pulls out some money.
JACK
Hi. Listen...I thought maybe you could use a-
THE CLOCK STRIKES NOON. PARRY grabs JACK...
PARRY
COME ON!
HE pulls JACK into the building.
EXT. MET LIFE BUILDING - NOON.
Several business men and women make their way out the
elevators for lunch. PARRY and JACK position themselves
with a clear view of the center elevator. The doors open
and after several more aggressive co-workers exit, PARRY'S
DAMSEL in distress appears out of a revolving door, but
quickly gets "revolved" back into the building....
PARRY
She'll be back....
Finally, Lydia makes an exit.
PARRY
Isn't she a vision?
REACTION SHOT OF A BEWILDERED JACK as he looks at
LYDIA - a dowdy, waif-like sparrow of a thing - makes her
way through the lobby. SHE is torturously self-conscious,
clumsy, formless and plain. She wears loose frocks that give
her no shape and make her appear to be swimming in material.
SHE wears no make-up; her unstyled hair is kept off her face
by a single beret that keeps sliding down her head, and her
contact lens are always dry, causing her to blink and use drops.
JACK
Yeah, gorgeous...Look, I'm going.
I just wanted to give you...
Starts to dig in his pocket, but Parry is already off.
PARRY
Let's go.
JACK follows.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - DAY.
Behind the glass in interior, we can see LYDIA sitting by herself
eating lunch. CAMERA PANS OUT TO THE STREET where PARRY
and JACK are sitting on the hood of a car, watching...
PARRY
She loves dumplings. It's her
Wednesday ritual.
LYDIA raises a dumpling to her lips with a pair of chopsticks.
SHE then accidentally drops it into a dish of soy sauce and
splatters her dress. Unnerved, she hastily wipes herself down,
knocking over a glass of water when she removes the napkin.
PARRY
Isn't she sweet. She does that every time...
Jack squints at Lydia as if trying to see what Parry
sees.
CUT TO:
INT. BOOKSTAND NEAR GRAND CENTRAL STATION - DAY
Jack and Parry have followed Lydia into a bookstore. She
stands browsing through a revolving bookstand. They
watch from a distance.
PARRY
She buys a new book every two days.
Lydia spins too hard, sending books flying off. She
replaces the books, but keeps one called "Loves Lusty
Longings"...
PARRY
(continuing; smiles with
great affection)
She's into trash. Whadda you gonna
do?
CUT TO:
EXT. MET LIFE BUILDING - DAY
Parry and Jack are following Lydia, when she stops at a
newsstand.
PARRY
She's got a real sweet tooth. If
anybody ever told me I'd be in love
with a woman who eats Jawbreakers,
I'd said they were nuts.
(reverentially)
But look at that jaw!
Jack doesn't want to look. If the Little People made
Parry seem crazy, this infatuation confirms him as beyond
hope.
CUT TO:
EXT. MET LIFE BUILDING - DAY
Lydia buys some candy then turns and walks back toward
her office building, once again waiting her turn to dive
into the revolving doors. She disappears into the
building.
JACK
Do you follow her every day?
PARRY
Huh-huh. I'm deeply smitten.
JACK
What's her name?
PARRY
I don't know.
A businessman, walking in the opposite direction, throws a
candy wrapper on the street as he passes Jack and Parry.
Parry suddenly stops, outraged, pulls out a slingshot and
fires a stone at the man's head. The businessman is hit
but doesn't know how, since Parry grabs Jack's arm and
resumes walking casually in the opposite direction.
JACK
Why did you do that?
PARRY
Well, if every time someone did
something offensive they hit in the
head with a pebble, I think
they might alter their behavior.
What do you think Jack...
Before Jack can respond, PARRY spots a rummage find:
PARRY
Oh look! A cooler!
Parry spots an abandoned COOLER filled with junk and starts
going through it. Things are getting weird again, so JACK
seizes the moment to accomplish his initial task - he pulls
out a fifty dollar bill and hands it to PARRY.
JACK
Here...I just would like to help
you. I thought...maybe...you
could use some money.
PARRY
Fifty dollars?
JACK digs deeper and hands him a twenty. PARRY is dumbfounded.
JACK
Here's another twenty. Will that do?
(sorting through his change)
I mean, what's it going to take!
PARRY
No..no, it's..I don't know what to say.
This is so nice of you...Jack...
HE hugs him on the street which embarasses JACK to no end.
JACK
(pulling away)
That's O.K.
PARRY
Can I take you to lunch?
JACK
No..I have to get back to work.
Take care of yourself.
JACK walks away. CAMERA stays on JACK for a few yards until he
turns around and sees:
PARRY handing the money to a BUM in a doorway, yelling into
an imaginary phone.
BUM
SELL!....SELL!....SELL!
(HE takes the money
from PARRY)
BUY!...BUY!...BUY!...
JACK
HEY!!...HEY!
JACK walks back to PARRY, who is explaining to the BUM, who is
now talking gibberish:
PARRY
(as if he understands)
Well, I think you should be realistic.
Ya can't start an ad agency on fifty dollars!
JACK
What are you doing?
(to BUM)
Give that back!
The Bum screams in defiance... PARRY pulls JACK away...
JACK
But I gave it to you!
PARRY
Well what am I gonna do with it?
JACK
I don't know. But I gave it to
you...to help YOU...not him.
PARRY
(beat, then smiles mischieviously)
You really want to help me?
A wary JACK, who's afraid to reply.
CUT TO:
EXT. LANGDON CARMICHAEL'S TOWNHOUSE - DAY.
On the Upper East Side, PARRY and JACK stand across the
tree-lined street from the ten million dollar armory/house.
PARRY
Pretty impressive huh?...Don't let it scare you.
I'll admit it's formidable but
everything has it's weakness.
JACK
You can't just break into Langdon
Carmichael's house. This man has done nothing.
PARRY
O.K...let me explain this one more
time...The Holly Grail is in -....
JACK
All right! Listen - please...don't
start drooling or...rolling your eyes
when I tell you this but - You shouldn't
do this..There is no Holy Grail.
PARRY
Of course there is, Jack. What do you
think the Crusades were - a frat initiation?
I don't think so...There has to be a Grail.
JACK
Look, you're only sort of insane, really.
People like you can lead semi-normal lives.
You could get a job...
PARRY
I don't need a job. I have a quest.
JACK
I take it back - you're fucking deranged...
And you're going to get yourself killed
trying to get in there!
PARRY
Tch. You are so sweet...Now I know
why you're saying this.
...You're afraid I'm in danger and
you're trying to protect me.
JACK
No. I think you're a moron and
I don't want to get into trouble.
Ignoring this, PARRY gets filled with emotion and hugs JACK.
PARRY
...You are such a great guy. First
the money, now this.
(to the LITTLE PEOPLE)
Isn't he fabulous!?
JACK
(pulling away)
Please don't hug me in public again, O.K.?
PARRY
(shouts)
I LOVE THIS MAN...YA HEAR ME JADED CITY...
(JACK is mortified)
...I'M DAFFY ABOUT THIS GUY AND
I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!
An COUPLE pass by, obviously not wanting to know it.
JACK
Will you shut-up!!!
PARRY
You're a true friend.
JACK
I'm not. Believe me. I'm scum.
PARRY
You're a real honest to goodness
good guy.
JACK
I'm self-centered, I'm weak - I don't
have the will power of a fly on shit...
PARRY
That's why the Little People sent you.
Just like magic.
JACK
I don't believe in little floating
people! THERE IS NO MAGIC!
PARRY
So what? You going to help me?
JACK
WILL YOU PLEASE... please listen to me ...
(HE GRABS PARRY by the shoulders)
You know none of this is true - PARRY
the Grail, the voices... Jack...
There's a part of you that Come on...what are
knows this isn't true. saying...
I know who you are... I know who you are..
or who you were. You're acting really-
You don't belong on the No, no, no, no...
streets. You're intelligent Jack...
man....you're a teacher... Jacck!...
You were a teach at Hunter College.
Don't you remember?... (SCREAMS)
PARRY breaks away from him. HE falls back onto the ground.
THE SCREAM STOPS and is replaced by an eerie SILENCE.
As if sound were ripped out of space. JACK speaks but no
sound comes out...We are in PARRY'S world for this brief
moment...JACK leans over to help PARRY, but the latter inches
away...fearful of the vision he sees: something out of sight,
looming over JACK, breathing FIERY SMOKE...JACK tries to raise
PARRY off the ground and, in doing so, the vision for PARRY
comes into full view:
CUT TO:
A MAGNIFICENT BURNISHED RED STEED
stared down at Parry. On top of him sits the Red Knight.
- a helmeted figure with a beard in a flowing red cap,
holding a lance. He stares at Parry. Closing his eyes,
Parry raises his hands to protect himself.
Jack looks around and sees nothing. He acts with great concern:
JACK
(Mouthing in silence)
Perry...you all right?
HE embraces PARRY by the shoulders. PARRY turns to him opening
his eyes, then turns back to the KNIGHT to discover that:
The HORSE and the KNIGHT have moved several feet away, and
are continuing to back up...as if in retreat.
JACK speaks as the sound is returned.
JACK
Parry answer me...are you all right?
PARRY smiles in amazement.
PARRY
He knows who you are!
(amazed)
He's afraid! I can tell!
JACK (O.S.)
You're totally gone, aren't you?
CUT TO:
THE RED KNIGHT
He pulls the reins back, forcing the horse up onto its
hind legs. Then, he gallops off.
CUT TO:
PARRY AND JACK
PARRY
We've got'em... come on!!!
Parry runs O.S. in the direction of the Knight. Jack is
not about to follow, until he sees -- Parry runs right
into the intersection of 94th & Fifth almost getting hit
hit by a cab.
JACK
Jesus.
Jack runs after him.
CUT TO:
EXT. FIFTH AVE. AND 74TH - DAY
Parry reaches where the Red Knight stood and looks.
CUT TO:
THE RED KNIGHT
riding onto the sidewalk and into Central Park.
CUT TO:
PARRY, as JACK reaches him.
JACK
What is going o-
Before he can finish, PARRY is off again. JACK races after him.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY.
THEY climb the wall and run into the park. THEY dodge past women
with strollers, runners, bikers, sun worshippers, etc....
THEY run deep into an extremely woody section of Central Park.
The RED KNIGHT appears first to the left, then re-appears to
the right. PARRY darts about like a madman.
EXT. ROCK - CENTRAL PARK - DAY
The Red Knight is perched atop a rock. He and Parry exchange
looks. The Knight and his horse rear up, two towering figures
against the Central Park South skyline.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY.
Parry, uttering a war cry, rushes off again.
EXT. ROCK - CENTRAL PARK - DAY
JACK, exhausted and bedraggled, climbs the rock to follow.
He reaches the top, panting.
JACK
Oh...Oh...Oh God...I'm dying.
I can't breath and I'm dying.
HE finds PARRY sitting Buddha-like, on the top of the rock,
calmly gazing out at the beautiful scenery before him.
PARRY
Isn't it great up here...
He's gone now, but we had him on the run!
We would've had his ass if we had horses!
He's running scared!
JACK
WHO! WHO'S RUNNING?!! WHO HAVE WE BEEN
CHASING!?? CAN I ASK THIS QUESTION NOW!!!
CAMERA PANS BACK SLOWLY from behind Jack and Parry.
PARRY
I'm sorry Jack. I thought you saw him.
CAMERA reveals the head of a horse.
JACK
SAW WHO!!?
PARRY
The Red Knight!
JACK
The Red...?
(stares at him in wonder)
You're totally gone, aren't you?
Frustrated, JACK turns to leave but this time there is a sound -
someone is crying O.S.
PARRY
.....Do you hear that?! Oh
"Heaven be praised, in giving me an
opportunity, so soon of fulfilling the
duties of my profession...These cries
doubtless proceed from some miserable male
or female, who stands in need of my
immediate aid and protection"
And he's off....A reluctant JACK pauses before following.
JACK
This is too hard.
CUT TO:
EXT. - CENTRAL PARK; BRIDLE PATH - DAY.
The park's bridle path. A BEATEN MAN cries as he sits in the
middle of the dirt bridle path - mumbling to himself, trying
to bury himself in dirt....HE hears the two men coming.
GAY BUM
GET AWAY! GET AWAY!!....
PARRY kneels down to him. JACK keeps a safe distance away.
PARRY
It's O.K...It's O.K...Lets me help you up.
GAY BUM
NO...I WANNA GO! I WANNA GO NOW!
PARRY
Come on now...You can't sit here.
GAY BUM
NO! I want a debutante on a horse
to step on me. Leave me alone!!
JACK
(wanting to leave)
Parry...
PARRY
Buddy, the days of the debutantes
are ... not what they used to be.
GAY BUM
(starts to cry)
Isn't that awful? Poor Brenda Frazier.
Poor Little Gloria. They ruined them!
THEY ATE THEM ALIVE!
PARRY
(helping him up)
It was a crime.
GAY BUM
Leave me alone...I wanna go...
PARRY lifts him up - he looks to JACK for help.
PARRY
Will you get the other side.
(JACK hesitates)
Jack?
The man's cuts and suicidal demeanor turn JACK off.
JACK
Listen, he just needs to sleep it
off. Someone will take care of him.
PARRY
Who?
JACK
Well, maybe he wants to stay here.
(to bum)
Do...do you want to stay here?
GAY BUM
(suddenly lucid and pissy)
Oh, yes, thank you - I really love bleeding
in horseshit. How very Gandhiesque of you.
PARRY looks to JACK, who then begrudgingly helps the BUM up.
CUT TO:
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - LATER.
In a room at the end of the line of chairs, PARRY stands holding
the GAY BUM. JACK stands a safe distance away, unable to
take his eyes off the scene before him : seated against the
wall are an assortment of derelicts, drunks, screaming withdrawl
victims and jacketed schizophrenics. JACK has a hard time moving.
PARRY
(to JACK, referring to GAY BUM)
Will you watch him for a minute?
Before Jack can respond, PARRY shifts the GAY BUM'S body
into JACK'S arms, then moves about the room, introducing
himself to the various patients as JACK watches. HE moves
down the line...saying hello, wiping people's brows,
holding the hands of an angry bag lady mumbling incoherently.
Smiling and saying hello to each one, no matter how frightening
they seem. HE appears to have a soothing affect.
GAY BUM
I wanna go...Just let me go...
JACK
Uh...Where...where do you want to go?
GAY BUM
(upset)
A real nice place I know...
Ah...can't get there! Not tonight.
JACK
(being positive)
Where? Maybe we can.
GAY BUM
(overlapping, crying)
No...no...we can't...we can't..
JACK
(with more feeling)
Come on...maybe we can...where do you want to go?
GAY BUM
Venice...Like Katherine Hepburn in SUMMERTIME.
(The GAY BUM cries in frustration).
....Why can't I be Katherine Hepburn...
JACK stares at him, at a complete loss for a response.
GAY BUM
I wanna die...I just wanna die...
JACK, against all better judgement, pats the BUM'S hand in
comfort. Unexpectedly, the GAY BUM leans his head on JACK'S
shoulder, and cries. JACK, wide-eyed with embarassment, looks
over to PARRY -
CUT TO:
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
PARRY is teaching a song to a SCITZHO, A YUPPIE IN A STRAIGHT
JACKET, and a paranoid BAG LADY...
BUM
O.K..everyone know their parts...
Here we go...
(sings)
"I like New York in June"...
HE points to the YUPPIE who replies:
YUPPIE
"How about you..."
PARRY
"I like a Gershwin tune..."
PARRY points to the SCITZHO, who stares at him blankly, drooling:
PARRY
...Good!.... "I like to read good books"
HE points to the BAG LADY, who is talking to herself:
BAG LADY
Where the hell am I gonna put the
children? Goddamn daughter-in-law!
Comes into my house looking for dustballs!
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY DINING ROOM...you ingrate!
PARRY
Tempo, people...tempo...
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
JACK, his arm around the despairing GAY MAN, is sharing his
problems.
JACK
Can you tell me something? Did you lose
your mind all of a sudden or was it a
slow gradual process?
GAY BUM
(suddenly coherent)
Well,... I'm a singer by trade...
Summer stock...nightclub revues...
that kind of thing...It used to be
what I absolutely lived for...God...I can do
GYPSY backwards - every part- but, one
night...in the middle of singing
"Funny..... - it suddenly hit me...
...what does all of this really mean?
(JACK nods in a knowing metaphysical aggreement)
That, and the fact that all my friends are
dead...God, I sound like a veteran.
Dad would be so proud.
At that moment a PIZZA BOY enters, making a delivery:
PIZZA BOY
Pizza!
Suddenly, DOCTORS and NURSES appear out of the wood work and
swarm around the delivery boy.
CUT TO:
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM- DAY
PARRY notices the time, passing by the doctors and pizza.
PARRY
Jack, it's almost five. We're going to be late.
We're going to miss her!
PARRY exits. JACK turns to the GAY BUM, exhaustedly.
JACK
Um...I've got to run. I've bee doing
this all day. Are you going to be all right?
GAY BUM
Oh please!...I was born a Catholic in Brooklyn...
I've been to hell and back....
I'll be fine...
(adds quite sincerely:)
....Thanks...You're a gem.
JACK nods, a little self-consciously, and exits.
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION: A BANK - RUSH HOUR
PARRY and JACK sit on the floor enjoying a cup of coffee.
A VIETNAM VET in a wheelchair with no legs sits near the opposite
wall, along with at least fifteen other homeless beggers.
Another MAN sits against a cash machine, crying. A WOMAN passes
by and drops some change in the VET's cup without saying
a word. The Vet, SID, smiles broadly.
SID
God Bless You... Have a nice day.
(to Jack and Parry)
Ya hear Jimmy Nickels got picked up
yesterday...
Parry is too busy scanning the Grand Central main floor
to answer. Realizing Parry isn't answering, Jack feels
obliged to pick up the conversation.
JACK
Oh yeah?
SID
He got caught --
(passer-by drops coins in
cup)
God bless... Have a safe trip home...
(to Jack)
-- Got caught pissin' on the
bookstore. Man's a pig. No excuse
for that. We're heading for social
anarchy when people start pissing on
bookstores!
Jack smiles at this observation. He then tries to get
Parry's attention.
JACK
You'll never see her in this crowd.
Parry doesn't answer. He looks like a dog waiting for
its master. People walk by Jack at a frantic pace. He
sits uncomfortably against a wall. A man almost steps on
him as he walks by and tosses a coin at Sid, missing the
cup and forcing Sid to bend over... Jack picks the coin
up for him.
SID
Bless you.
JACK
Asshole! Guy didn't even look at
you.
SID
(takes coin)
He's paying so he don't have to look.
What he doesn't know is, he's paying
for a service. Guy goes to work
every day and for eight hours, seven
days a week, he bends over and gets
it right up the ass till he can't
stand...
Parry stands up and begins pacing before the main floor.
SID
(continuing)
... But one day, right before
quitting time on Friday, his boss is
going say something like "Say Bob --
come into my office and kiss my
ass"... and Bob is going think --
"The hell with it! I don't care what
happens. All I want right now is to
see the expression on his face when I
stab him with these pair of
scissors"...
Parry looks at the clock above the information booth --
5:00.
SID
(continuing)
... But then he thinks of me -- "wait
a minute!"... he says... "It's not so
bad. At least I got two arms and two
legs and I ain't beggin' for money."
He puts down the scissors, and
puckers up...
Jack is impressed with this man.
SID
(continuing)
... I'm what you call a moral traffic
light. It's like I'm saying "Red --
go no further."
O.S. a black woman begins to sing. Jack and Sid look:
SID
(continuing; smiles with
respect)
Ah, Margaret.
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - PHOTO LAB - RUSH HOUR
MARGARET, a black woman in a paisley kaften, stands near
a photo lab across from Jack and Sid. With a box in
front of her for donations, she starts singing (SONG to
be chosen). Some rush hour commuters stop to listen.
Her VOICE is strong and soulful, she performs
uninhibitedly.
SID
You have to admit though... Like at
5:00 in Grand Central... Pretty
breathtaking, don't cha think?
Jack looks around this mad rush hour scene, taking it in
through Sid's eyes... Parry, however, keeps his gaze on
the main floor. Suddenly, he spots her:
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - MAIN FLOOR
Hordes of people are moving in every which way,
zigzagging across the floor... Lydia moves through the
crowd, avoiding touching anyone...
PARRY
CAMERA PANS IN SLOWLY as we hear Margaret's SONG O.S.
The closer the CAMERA gets to Parry the more her song
changes... At first a blend of two melodies that sound
distruptive, cachophonous... But as Parry smiles with
joy, HIS SONG overtakes Margaret's... It is a WALTZ.
CUT TO:
MAIN FLOOR - PARRY'S POV
The hordes of people continue their zigzagging for a beat
then:
Suddenly, they pair up and waltz around the main floor,
circling around the center information booth...
Only Lydia remains walking -- gliding through the dancers
with grace and ease...
Parry watches in a state of rapture -- moving as she
moves to keep her in eye view as long as possible.
CUT TO:
JACK
listening to Margaret's SONG, taking in the scene around
him... watching people listen to her song, while others
walk by as if they were deaf and blind...
Feeling strangely at ease, strangely apart of everyone
around him -- a group of lost souls listening to a woman
bare her soul in song. He looks to spot Parry, rises and
crosses to him...
CUT TO:
MAIN FLOOR
Parry watches as Lydia exits the main floor (the waltz
has ended) just as Jack speaks his line:
JACK
It's such a great song.
PARRY
(referring to his own
song)
It's a classic.
Jack looks in the direction of Parry's stare and sees
Lydia exit.
PARRY
(continuing)
God. Just one night with her. I'd
die happy.
Jack hears this as if a light bulb went off above his
head.
CUT TO:
INT. LYDIA'S APARTMENT - DUSK
A door opens. Lydia enters with a bag of groceries she
picked up on the way. She turns on the light to reveal
an extremely neat, albiet modest, one bedroom apartment.
She carries the grocery bag into the kitchen.
Out of the bag, she removes a Lean Cuisine, a giant
bottle of cream soda and four giant bars of Chunky
chocolate. She pops the Lean Cuisine into the oven and
walks back into the living room to an old stereo. She
turns the TURNTABLE on -- a record already set upon it.
She stands by her coffee table, as if taking position:
Suddenly, we hear ETHEL MERMAN -- as Lydia lip-syncs
every word with complete commitment -- giving a full out
performance.
ETHEL/LYDIA
Got no sunshine, got no rain
Still I think I'm a lucky dame
I got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night...
Her attempts at hand gestures and choreography are
awkward -- bunking into the coffee table, banging her
hand against a lamp -- but, we see a part of Lydia that
few (actually no one) sees. Her abandon, her joy... her
smile. From upstairs, neighbors BANG for her to keep the
music down. Lydia casually crosses to the stereo, turns
off the turntable and heads back to the kitchen -- as if
the neighbors interference were all apart of her nightly
ritual.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Anne sits alone at her formica table, smoking a
cigarette. Two plates are set. She waits for Jack. She
is hurt and pissed off. TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN play on
her stereo.
TONY ORLANDO
Knock three times... on the ceiling
if you want me... Twice on the
pipes...
The song continues as the CAMERA SLOWLY PANS up to
CLOSEUP of Anne, who is fighting with an imaginary Jack.
ANNE
Ya fuckin' bastard. I don't need
this...
(emphasizing)
... I Do Not Need This! A woman my
age... I am a person. This is kid
stuff. You come! You go! And all I
do is cook like a jerk! You're a
waste of good cutlets... I don't need
this... Find yourself another dope...
ya fuckin' bastard...
She puffs on her cigarette.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - SHEEPS MEADOW - NIGHT
PARRY
What a beautiful night.
HE walks deeper into the open field. This makes JACK nervous.
JACK
Don't you think it's time to go now?
Running around here during the day is
one thing but at night we could be killed
by a wide variety of people.
PARRY
Well that's stupid. This is my park
just as much as it is theirs. You
think it's fair they keep us out
just because they make us think we'll
get killed or something?
JACK
Yes. I think that's very fair.
PARRY takes off his pants and stands there naked.
JACK
(continuing)
.....What are you doing?
PARRY
Have you ever done any cloudbusting?
You lie on your back and you
concentrate on the clouds...and you try yo
break them apart with your mind.
It's wild.
Parry lies down.
JACK
You can't do this! This is New York!
Nobody lies in naked in a field in New
York..It's...it's too Midwestern.
PARRY
Come on, try it. Ya feel the
air on your body - ya little
fella's flappin' in the breeze.
...everybody in the city is busy
with their business and no one knows we're
bare assed in the middle of it. Come on!
JACK
NO! I will not! This is nuts!
I'm leaving! I mean it...this is nuts.
(freaked, walking OC)
This is too nuts...I'm leaving. I mean it!
JACK starts walking away from PARRY, talking to himself -
JACK
..Ha...Little fella? I mean
the man talks to invisible people -
he sees invisible horses - and
he's naked in the middle of Central
Park. I should be surprised? I'm
not surprised. I'm fucking outta
my mind to even be here!
PARRY (O.S.)
Who are you talking to Jack?
JACK
(turns back and yells)
YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!!
PARRY (O.S.)
Bingo!
HE walks O.C.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK: SHEEPS MEADOW - TEN MINUTES LATER - NIGHT.
JACK, fully clothed, lies next to PARRY looking up at the clouds.
JACK
They're not moving.
THEY stare up. JACK raises his head. HE unbuttons his shirt -
maybe that will help...
JACK
What if some homophobic jogger runs by and
kills us to get back at his overbearing father?
Parry remains focused on the sky - in his own world.
Something about cloudbusting makes Parry behave in a way we haven't
seen before...He is un characteristically quiet.
JACK
"JACK LUCAS FOUND DEAD - BESIDE
A DEAD NAKED MAN...THE TWO WERE
DEAD...HIS COMPANION WAS NAKED"...I hate
when they use the word companion...It's
so insinuating..Although, it'll probably boost my
biography sales. The public loves
stories about successful people falling into
degenerate behavior. Makes them feel
lucky to be boring and ordinary...People stink.
Parry suddenly speaks - as if talking to a lecture hall.
PARRY
Are there any questions?
JACK
What?
PARRY
Then let's begin with the story itself.
It's a story of the Grail myth...And although
there are several variations, my favorite
begins with the Fisher King as a young boy...
who had to spend a night alone in the forest
to prove his courage... and during that night,
he is visited by a sacred vision. Out of the
fire, appears the Holy Grail - God's highest symbol of
divine grace. And a voice says to the boy,
"You shall be the guardian of the Grail, that it
may heal the hearts of men"...But the boy was
overcome ...Innocent and foolish, he was
blinded by greater visions - a life ahead filled
with beauty and glory, hope and power...Tears
filled his eyes as he sensed his own... invincibility.
A boy's tears of naive wonder and inspiration.
and in this state of...radical amazement...he felt
for a brief moment, not like a boy, but like God...
(Jack listens intently)
...And so he reached into the fire to take the Grail.
And the Grail vanished. And the boy hands were
left caught in the flames...leaving him wounded
and ashamed at what his recklessness had lost him.
When he became King, he was determined to
reclaim his destiny and find the Grail...
But with each year that passed, with each
campaign he fought, the Grail remained lost, and
this wound he suffered in the fire grew worse...
He became a bitter man. Life for him lost it's reason.
With each disappointment, with each betrayal...
with each loss ... this wound would grow...
Soon the land began to spoil from neglect
and his people starved...Until finally,
the King lost all faith in God's existance and in
man's value...He lost his ability to love or be loved
And he was so sick with experience...
that he started to die. As the years went on,
his bravest knights would search for the
Grail that would heal their King and
make them the most respected and valued men in
the land, but to no avail. Pretty soon, finding
the Grail became a ruthless struggle between ambitious
men vying for the King's power, which only confirmed
the King's worst suspicions of man, causing his
wound to grow. His only hope, he thought, was death.
Then one day, a fool was brought in to the King
to cheer him. He was a simple-minded man...
not particularly skilled...or admired... He
tells the King some jokes...sing him some songs,
but the King feels even worse...Finally, the
fool says, "What is it that hurts you so much?
How can I help?"...And the King says, "I need
a sip of water to cool my throat"...So, the fool
takes a cup from the bedstand, fills it with
water and hands it to the King...Suddenly,
the King feels a lot better. And when he looks
to his hands, he sees that it was the Holy Grail
the fool handed him...an ordinary cup that had been
beside his bed all along...And the King asks,
"How can this be?...how could you find what
all my knights and wisest men could not find"?
And the fool answers, "I don't know. I only
knew you were thirsty."... And for the first time
since he was a boy, the King felt more than a man -
not because he was touched by God's glory...but
rather, by the compassion of a fool.
JACK doesn't know how to respond. HE's never known PARRY to
be eloquent. HE gets a glimpse of PARRY as he once was and
the words come out of his mouth before he knows it:
JACK
I'm so sorry.
But PARRY seems far away. HE speaks like a professor:
PARRY
The Fisher King myth has alot of
derivations...I remember I was at
this lecture in Princeton once -
and there was this one speaker...Henry Sa...
Henry...uh...Henry...
HE stops. As if this memory escaped with any warning.
PARRY
(continuing)
....What was I saying?
JACK is as surprised as he is. PARRY'S face is frightened
and confused again. There is panic in his voice.
PARRY
(continuing)
....What was I saying?
HE raises his head to look and sees:
EXT. SHEEPS MEADOW: SEVERAL YARDS AWAY - NIGHT.
THE DARK SILOUETTE OF THE RED KNIGHT UPON HIS HORSE. Staring -
knowing exactly where PARRY lies even though it's dark.
PARRY looks frightened as he lays his head back down.
JACK tries to snap him out of it by saying:
JACK
How come you've never asked that
girl for a date?
PARRY looks back to see that the RED KNIGHT has vanished.
HE snaps out of it somewhat.
PARRY
I can't ask for her...I have to earn her.
JACK
Parry, you don't have to earn a woman.
It's the twentieth century.
PARRY
Maybe, when we get the Grail...
JACK
Well, see, I think she can help...You know
women are great..they...they make homes
and they..ya know, kill the livestock
so the knights can go out and get
Grails and...and slaughter villages with a
clear head...I mean, where would Arthur be
without Guinevere...
PARRY
Happily married, probably.
JACK
Bad example. Just trust me. A woman who loves
you keeps you going...gives you strength...
Makes you feel like you can do anything...
PARRY
Is that what your girlfriend does for you?
JACK
(hesitates, then lies:)
Sure...
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY, MET LIFE BUILDING - MORNING.
JACK waits near the elevators as the nine-to-five crowd make
their way into the building. HE looks like a bum - having
stayed out all night with PARRY....HE'S so tired he can't
keep his eyes opened as LYDIA walks with the crowd
to the elevator... Just as the doors close, JACK spots her
and jumps in between them - causing the inhabitants a jolt.
CUT TO:
INT. TWO HEARTS PUBLISHING - MORNING.
The elevator doors open. LYDIA gets off after two leggy
businesswomen. JACK follows. SHE walks through two glass
doors with the words TWO HEARTS PUBLISHING, INC. and enters
the office. JACK waits until she had disappeared down a
foyer, then enters the reception area.
JACK
Could you help me-- what was the name
of that girl who just came in...
RECEPTIONIST
What girl? I didn't notice.
JACK
Uh... she was wearing a kind of... a
flouncy kind of... uh... plain...
He makes big gestures with his arms to describe the
dress, the stringy gestures with his fingers to describe
her hair.
RECEPTIONIST
(winning at Charades)
Oh, Lydia!
JACK
Lydia. Lydia what?
RECEPTIONIST
God, I have no idea. She's worked
here for fifteen years and I have no
idea. I'll call her.
JACK
No... no... that's all right... I
thought I knew her... Thanks...
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE - DAY
Jack is on the phone, with an open Yellow Pages beside
him.
JACK
Yes. Two Hearts Publishing? May I
speak to Lydia please.
He waits. Anne enters. She is obviously very irritated
with him.
ANNE
Can I have my desk please.
JACK
(to phone)
Hello, I'd like to speak to Lydia?
ANNE
Lydia?! Lydia who!?
JACK
(to Anne)
I don't know her last name... I'll be
off in a second.
ANNE
You're calling Lydia in my office.
You must think I'm some dope. You
fuckin' bastard... You...
(she punches his arm)
... stay out all night long...
JACK
(overlapping, to phone)
What... No... Lydia... I want to
speak to... her name is Lydia...
I...uh...
ANNE
(overlapping)
... I don't get a friggin' phone
call. You stroll in here at noon. I
got... two people out sick. Ya think
I need this? I Do Not Need This!
JACK
...Forget it... Goodbye!
He hangs up.
Anne sits down at her desk. She is waiting for an
explanation.
JACK
I was not with a woman last night. I
was out with Parry.
ANNE
The moron?
JACK
He's not a moron.
ANNE
And who's Lydia?
JACK
Lydia is the girl Parry likes... And
I thought, if I could get them
together I...
ANNE
What? The curse'll be lifted? Will
you please!
JACK
I... You're not going to understand
this.
ANNE
Don't treat me like I'm stupid. It
pisses me off.
JACK
All right... Sorry... I feel indebted
to him.
ANNE
(pause)
What does that mean?
JACK
See, I told you!
ANNE
Well, what the hell does that mean?
JACK
I thought... if... if I can help him
in some way... you know?... get him
this girl he loves... Then...
maybe.... things'll start changing for
me... My luck, ya know... Maybe...
(gives up)
Forget it... It's a stupid idea.
Anne looks at him incredulously. He sits down and
breathes a sigh -- the absurdity of the idea hitting him
as well. Anne softens -- feeling like she has unfairly
taken the wind out of his sail.
ANNE
Oh, you poor kid... You're a mess.
Anne stands and buries Jack's face in her breast. She
decides to be positive.
ANNE
(continuing)
... Well, listen... stranger things
have happened.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT AFTERNOON.
Jack on the phone to Lydia. This time Anne is right
beside him.
JACK
Hello Lydia?
LYDIA
(abrasively)
Yeah? Who is this?
Her abrupt manner surprises Jack. Jack uses his old,
confident radio voice.
JACK
This is Jack Lucas and I'm calling
from Video Pop video rentals.
INT. LYDIA'S OFFICE - INTERCUT PHONE CALL - DAY
LYDIA
Yes.
JACK
Yes well...
(guessing and hoping)
You are a credit card holder, are you
not?
LYDIA
Huh-huh.
JACK
Well, congratulations Lydia, because
out of several thousand card
holders... in conjunction with
several major credit card
companies...
LYDIA
Which ones?
JACK
All of them... Which means you have
just won a free membership at our
store on Second Avenue.
He puts the reciever near a tape player and presses play.
"HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN" plays for a moment, then he
shuts it off.
LYDIA
(deadpan, not getting it)
How did this happen?
Jack is prepared for Lydia's, shall we say, reluctance to
buy it!
JACK
Your name was picked.
LYDIA
(suspicious... and dense)
Well, I don't understand. What did
you do -- did you pick my name out
of a hat or... or... a list?
JACK
A list.
LYDIA
Well -- were there a lot of people in
the room or just you or what?
JACK
(about to answer)
Well there....
(then)
What's the difference?
LYDIA
Well, I mean... I don't know you...
This has never... I've never won
anything and... I don't have a VCR.
JACK
You get a VCR with the membership.
(ANNE hits him)
... For a short time until you get
your own. Listen, why don't you come
down to the store and you can check
it out. See if you're interested.
LYDIA
Did Phyllis in accounting tell you to
call me?
JACK
(fed up)
No! I told you! You won a contest!
Lydia hangs up. Jack turns to Anne.
JACK
(continuing)
....This is going to be rough.
CUT TO:
INT. MET LIFE ELEVATOR - DAY.
JACK stands beside a costumed GAY BUM in a crowded elevator.
The Bum warms up to the elevator's muzak. JACK shoves him to stop.
A somber looking BUSINESSMAN rides along side, reading a
newspaper. The GAY BUM moves next to him and looks up:
GAY BUM
I'm Anne Morrow Lindbergh and I can't
find my baby...
The BUSINESSMAN is stunned...HE laughs...
BUSINESSMAN
What?
GAY BUM
See, I knew I could make you smile...
CUT TO:
INT. TWO HEARTS PUBLISHING - DAY.
The elevator doors open. JACK stands beside THE GAY BUM who
carries balloons marked VIDEO SPOT.
JACK
(adamant)
Remember. One chorus and out.
GAY BUM
I'm a man with a mission, Jack.
THE GAY BUM walks to the office entrance. JACK pushes the down
button. As the doors close, we hear him say to himself:
JACK
I can't believe I'm on a first name
basis with these people...
CUT TO:
THE GAY BUM enters the reception area, much to the surprise of
the receptionist.
RECEPTIONIST
Can I ... help you?
GAY BUM
Is there a mousy woman who works here
named Lydia?
RECEPTIONIST
Yes..if you'll wait here I'll...
GAY BUM
This is a personalized message. I
have to give it in person.
INT. TWO HEARTS PUBLISHING - MOMENTS LATER
THE GAY BUM strolls nonchalantly into the office and down the aisle
relishing in the amazed expressions of the employees. HE approaches
a cubicle on which he reads a small name plate - LYDIA SINCLAIR.
LYDIA has her back to him, but slowly turns as she feels someone
watching her. SHE lets out a tiny scream when she sees him
standing there like a deranged clown. The GAY BUM take notice of
her outfit - a cordoroy, forest green jumper with a lime
green turtleneck -
GAY BUM
You MUST be SHE.
LYDIA
Huh?
THE GAY BUM begins to sing a SONG PARODY to the tune of a
classical musical number. (Song to be chosen). After a big finish,
the GAY BUM hands LYDIA a business card, drops the act and exits:
GAY BUM
(murmurs cynically)
Jesus...
Stunned, LYDIA looks down at the information card she holds
frozen in her hand.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO STOP - 5:30 THE NEXT DAY.
C.U. on ANNE, who is slighted repulsed by PARRY.
JACK PARRY; his hair slicked back, wearing a Video Spot T-shirt
over his clothes. Jack hangs a car pine freshner around PARRY's
neck to help with the smell...The bell on front door jingles.
LYDIA cautiously enters the store.
Behind the counter, JACK spots her immediately and nudges ANNE.
SHE turns to look, her bra straps are visible. JACK fixes them.
LYDIA
Hello. My name is Lydia Sinclair.
JACK
Yes. Hi..Congratulations. Jack Lucas.
Nice to meet you finally. This is Anne
Napolitano, the owner of Video Spot.
ANNE
Hello....congratulations.
JACK
And this is our other..uh...co-worker..
Parry..uh...Parry....
LYDIA
Parry Parry?
PARRY
No just Parry.
LYDIA
Oh...like Moses.
No one knows how to respond to this, so they don't.
LYDIA
(continuing; curt)
So how do we do this?
JACK
Well..um...you get an official
membership card...
(takes one out)
Just sign that and we'll laminate it
right here... Parry? You want to
laminate Miss Sinclair's card?...
Parry stands staring at her.
JACK
(continuing)
...Parry?
Parry snaps out of it and crosses from behind the counter
to the laminating machine next to Jack.
ANNE
This will last you one year after
which you have the option to renew
if... you like at a membership
discount.
LYDIA
(defensive)
But now it's free, right?
ANNE
Yeah.
Anne backs off. She stands next to an equally perplexed
Jack as they watch Lydia fill out the card. Her abrasive
demeanor is not what they expected. Lydia finishes the
card and pushes it toward them.
LYDIA
Now what?
JACK
Uh... you... you can pick out up to
ten movies...
LYDIA
Free?
JACK
Yes. They're free.
ANNE
(butts in)
Only the first ten. After that
they're 2.99 a rental.
Lydia eyes Anne suspiciously, then turns to survey the
shelves. Parry picks up her card and laminates it -- all
the while, keeping his eyes fixed upon Lydia's every
move. Anne and Jack, having set the trap, watch with
interest.
Lydia surveys the film boxes, H-L. She spots one of
interest and pulls it off the shelf -- causing two other
boxes to fall down on her. She catches one box and, as
she replaces it back on the shelf, causes three more to
fall. She catches two of the three.
Parry, Anne and Jack watching with an odd fascination.
Jack nudges Parry to forget the laminating and go help
her. Parry gathers up his nerve and moves from around
the counter, up behind her.
PARRY
... Can... can I help you?
Lydia quickly turns -- she is uncomfortable by his
closeness.
LYDIA
No. No... I can look myself...
She moves away abruptly -- like a fox terrier who
pretends to ignore the mess she made on the living room
rug.
Parry turns to Jack and Anne, as if to say "what do I do
now?" Jack encourages him to keep trying. Parry
organizes the boxes and picks one out.
PARRY
How about the "Hell Merchants"?
LYDIA
I don't like horror movies!
PARRY
(reads)
How about... Zbiegnew Speizak's "The
Purple Bread," an intensely portrayed
tale of love and envy set against the
sweeping background of a Polish
bakery. In subtitles.
LYDIA
I don't like... uh...
(finding it hard to
categorize)
Polish love stories...
(she turns her back
on him, but adds)
... I like musicals.
PARRY
(encouraged)
Well, we have plenty of those. Right
over here. We got the MGM series,
Astaire and Rogers, the Judy
Garlands...
LYDIA
Got any Ethel Merman?
He doesn't see any. He looks to Anne, who shakes her
head.
PARRY
... Uh... we seem to be all out of
Ethel Merman.
LYDIA
What a gyp.
PARRY
Yeah.
Jack nudges Anne to do something.
ANNE
You know, I think I... ordered some
just the other day.
LYDIA
Well did you or didn't you?
ANNE
(pissed off)
Yes! They'll be in soon.
LYDIA
Well, I guess I'll come back then.
JACK
Here's your card.
Lydia walks back to the counter. As Jack hands her the
card, she notices Anne's painted star fingernails.
LYDIA
I like your nails. Where did you get
them done?
ANNE
Ah... I do them myself. I used to
work in a beauty parlor.
Lydia keeps staring at them. She says blankly;
LYDIA
I like the stars.
Jack gets an idea.
JACK
You know, Anne does other people too.
Sort of a sideline...
(Anne is surprised to hear
this.
... If you want, she could do your
nails.
LYDIA
How much?
JACK
Well, since you're a member, we
could...
ANNE
(interrupts)
Twenty dollars.
Lydia considers the offer. Parry waits for the outcome.
LYDIA
Okay... twenty dollars... When can
you...
JACK
Tonight! How's tonight?
Lydia thinks. Anne is ready to kill Jack. Parry smiles
hopefully.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - THAT EVENING
Jack searches frantically through a closet. Anne and
Parry sit opposite each other at the table. Parry is
eating Anne's homecooking voraciously. Anne doesn't
quite know how to take Parry, who smiles mischieviously
through his meal.
ANNE
(to Jack O.S.)
Getting your nails done is one thing
but going to dinner with a bunch of
strangers and him... She didn't even
look at him.
PARRY
Got any more bread crust?
As Anne resentfully rises and crosses into the kitchen,
Parry focuses on her robust breasts bouncing beneath the
sweater. Anne's expression, as she serves him, is a
mixture of repulsion and fascination... She sits at the
table.
JACK (O.S.)
We'll make it very casual... not like
a date or anything. I just have to
find something he'll look good in.
Anne looks at Parry as if this were an impossibility.
Parry smiles back -- he likes Anne.
ANNE
I don't know... He's a little
disgusting... Although some women go
for that.
JACK (O.S.)
He just needs some clothes?
PARRY
Got any more starchy food?
Another opportunity to watch Anne's breasts in action, as
she reluctantly rises to get him more macaroni. She
returns with the pot.
ANNE
I mean, I've gone out with bums, but
they were gorgeous. It's the only
reason to go out with a bum.
PARRY
This food's delicious. You're a
wonderful cook. And you have a
lovely home.
ANNE
Jack, he's starting a conversation...
JACK (O.S.)
Well talk back. He won't bite you.
ANNE
(cool and polite)
Thank you very much.
PARRY
(enjoying the conversation)
Your welcome. You know, a
beautiful woman like yourself -- your
own business -- I'm surprised some
guy doesn't snatch you up for his
own.
Anne looks in Jack's direction, but replies to Parry:
ANNE
You're surprised!... But I guess I
just never met the right guy. Whatta
gonna do?
PARRY
I'm shocked. With a child bearing
body like yours...
(Anne doesn't know how
to take that)
... why a man would have to be out of
his mind!
ANNE
Most men are.
PARRY
Why this is outrageous!...
Parry, getting overly heated, slams down his fork. Anne
jumps.
PARRY
(continuing)
... A woman of your value going to
waste before my eyes....
(rising intensity)
Come on! I'm yours! Let's go!
(clears the table with
one move)
Come on -- let us go to that place of
splendor in the grass.
He starts to unzip his pants.
ANNE
Jack!
Climbing over the table to her, he seranades.
PARRY
Holdin' my penis...
What a lovely way of sayin' how
Much ya like me...
ANNE
What are you, out of your mind!
Jack enters...
PARRY
Holdin' my penis...
JACK
Parry! Close your pants...
Parry stops singing and gets off the table. He bows to
her.
PARRY
(kidding)
You sure now?
Anne looks at him like she's going to belt him.
PARRY
(continuing)
... Well alright. But you let me
know.
(with great
sincerity)
You're too good a woman to go to
waste.
Anne, in spite of herself, agrees with him. She looks to
Jack to see if he agrees, but Jack is too busy inspecting
Parry.
JACK
What are you -- a 40 in a jacket?
Anne, frustrated with the two of them, exits.
EXT. VIDEO POP - NIGHT
Lydia walks up and RINGS the bell. BUZZED in -- she
enters.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT EVENING
Anne's opens the door to a cautious Lydia. Lydia nods,
self-consiously, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm here".
ANNE
Hello... welcome... Come in.
Lydia enters, subtly inspecting the apartment.
LYDIA
I've never been in an apartment above
a store. You always pass them on the
street but you never think anyone
really lives in them.
ANNE
(raising an eyebrow)
Can I get you anything...coffee...
tea...a little tequilla?
LYDIA
No, thank you.
LYDIA sits at the formica table, already set up with nail care
paraphernalia - with the gleaming steel nail files it looks a
bit like surgery equipment.
LYDIA
Will it hurt?
ANNE
(threateningly)
That all depends on you.
...Sure you don't want a drink?
LYDIA's a little nervous about this attempt at nail beauty.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT - NIGHT.
Jack is cleaning up Parry - perhaps applying a green mud
treatment.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT EVENING.
ANNE is seated at her formica table opposite LYDIA. SHE
delicately holds one of LYDIA'S hands, carefully applying the
stars to her nails. LYDIA sips her tequilla with one hand.
ANNE'S glass is almost empty as she talks non-stop;
ANNE
...So he says to me, "you'll never find
another man like me"...I said, "please,
men like you have one hand on their
dicks and the other hand on their
mother's leg... I said, there's
the door - take a trip.
LYDIA
(paying close attention)
You threw him out?
ANNE makes a confident nod. LYDIA sips.
LYDIA
My parents were divorced.
ANNE
It's an awful thing, let me tell you.
My Aunt used to say,
(emphasizing)
"divorce is the sister-in-law of death".
ANNE nods knowingly. LYDIA squints as she considers this.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT - SAME TIME.
JACK stands behind a seated PARRY in front of a mirror.
PARRY'S hair is wet. JACK places a can of styling mousse
in front of him. PARRY squeezes a ball of mousse in his hand,
then applies it to his head....PARRY proceeds to experiment
with a number of styles - adding more and more mousse as JACK
watches in silence. PARRY molds his hair into a cone, then
divides into two cones, then mushes it into a pompadour, then
splits the pompadour - PARRY is having a wonderful time -
applying enormous amounts to his head and eyebrows....Finally,
JACK grabs the can out of PARRY'S hand.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER.
ANNE works on LYDIA'S other hand, as LYDIA sips her tequilla
from a straw.
ANNE
...SO...anybody special in your life?
LYDIA
(defensive)
Do I look like I have someone special?
SHE moves to picks up her tequilla with the manicured hand but
ANNE eyes her down.
ANNE
Well, don't say it like that. It's not
so...ya know, crazy an idea.
You are a healthy woman... You
hold a steady job. Ya not crossed
eyed or anything...
LYDIA
Well, there's nobody special!
ANNE
Fine.
LYDIA
(pause, then:)
I mean, it's not easy in this day and age.
ANNE
What?
LYDIA
Meeting ... people.
ANNE
Tell me about it. I've been dating
longer than I've been driving. I
can't believe that.
LYDIA
I never really...went through a...
dating period.
ANNE
It's a disgusting process. You haven't
missed anything.
LYDIA nods in agreement, but her face tells us she feels she has
missed a great deal.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT - NIGHT
PARRY, cleaned and dressed up - his hair moussed back, the suit
is too big. PARRY paces back and forth in the hallway as JACK
tries to staple the sleeves of the suit shorter for PARRY's arms.
JACK
Will you stand still so I can do this!
PARRY
I'm sorry....I'm just so excited.
(JACK smiles)
You must have felt this way when
you first met Anne, huh?
Where did you two meet?
JACK
In a bar called Hellfire.
PARRY
Tch...how romantic. Yeah. If I
wasn't already committed to
Lydia, boy. Except Anne'd never go for
me though. She loves you too much.
And you really love her, huh?
JACK
No. But that's not the only reason
people get together or..stay together.
PARRY
What are the other reasons?
JACK thinks a moment, then answers plainly:
JACK
Survival.
PARRY puts his arm on JACK'S shoulder and speaks very sincerely.
PARRY
(earnest)
You love her alot Jack. You're ...
crazy about her...It's just that,
sometimes, you're a little bit of an asshole.
JACK is surprised by the remark and abruptly focuses on PARRY.
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - LATER
LYDIA is a little more loose and talkative now as ANNE refills
her glass, then takes LYDIA'S other hand to apply the stars.
LYDIA
(deadpan)
...My mother calls every week.
Like a recurring nightmare.
"So, have you met anyone?"..."No mom"..
"So what's going to happen?"...
"I don't know Mom"...
I only thank God I moved out.
ANNE
I can't believe you lived with
her for that long. If I had to live
with my mother, I'd stab myself six times.
LYDIA
I think some people are meant to be alone.
(she takes a slug)
Maybe I was a man in a former life
and I used women for pleasure so
now I'm paying for it - which would
be fine, if I could just remember
some of the pleasure parts...
(drinks)
ANNE
I don't understand you. What is the problem?
LYDIA
I don't feel like I make any impression on people...
At office parties I spend my time
re-arranging the hors d'oeuvres as people eat
them, so the platters will always look full.
I don't start conversations because I have
no idea how to end them...I think I'm
just meant to live in the background
of things.
ANNE
That's not true...You gotta ease up...
Conversations have a life of their own.
You gotta just go with it...We're having
a lovely conversation.
LYDIA
(bluntly)
I'm paying you.
ANNE drops her hand. SHE's pissed.
ANNE
You know, let me tell you something!
I'm not that kind of person. I don't
do people favors. If I talk to you
it's because I want to. So we're not
all ...uh...Jerri Hall...Big deal...
What a boring world if we were.
You do the best you can with what you got.
You're not so so invisible, ya know...
You want make an impression? Try this;
you can be a real bitch.
LYDIA
(her face lights up)
Really?
ANNE
Yeah!
LYDIA smiles at the thought of having such an impressionable
personality..
EXT. VIDEO POP - NIGHT.
JACK tries to calm PARRY down.
JACK
Come here...you're all crooked.
(HANDS HIM WALLET)
Here's my wallet, so you can pay for dinner?
JACK adjusts PARRY'S tie, then undoes it and re-ties.
PARRY takes wallet, keeping his eyes on JACK, as JACK primps him.
PARRY
...You're a nice man, Jack.
Doing all this for me...
JACK doesn't pay attention as PARRY'S expression grows pale and
frightened. HE suddenly raps his arms around JACK and whispers;
PARRY
I'm scared Jack.
JACK, uncomfortable at the intimacy, tries to comfort him.
PARRY
...I feel so much for her...I
feel like something awful is going to happen.
JACK
No. Nothing bad's going to happen.
Anne'll be there. I'll be there.
Nothing bad will happen.
PARRY
I'm still scared.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT.
ANNE and LYDIA share a drink....
ANNE
It's hard being a woman. I don't care what
anybody says...People say we have choices -
we have no choices...My grandma used to
say that, for a woman in this world, behind
every door there's either death...or husband.
LYDIA cracks up laughing.
LYDIA
"Sister-in-law of death"...That's wonderful.
SHE takes another sip as JACK knocks on the door and enters with PARRY.
JACK
Anne...!
(to LYDIA)
Oh hi? How's it going?
Lydia loses her smile and becomes self-conscious and protective.
JACK
Parry, it's Lydia Sinclair - our membership winner.
PARRY
I know!
JACK turns to find that PARRY is still outside the apartment.
HE crosses to PARRY. The two whisper intensely....
ANNE
What are you two up to?
JACK
Well..everything's closed up.
We thought we'd get some dinner.
(overplaying it)
Say!....Anybody up for Chinese?
(to LYDIA)
Have you eaten? Would you
like to come along?
LYDIA
(rises, uncomfortable)
Oh, no..I have to get home...
ANNE
The nails!! Watch the nails!!...
(LYDIA sits back down)
Listen, you still have to eat.
PARRY stands in b.g. with JACK, whispering....
LYDIA
No really..I can't.
ANNE
Hey? What did I tell you?
Why don't you come? It's just dinner.
You'll have something to tell
your mother next time she calls.
LYDIA smiles as PARRY and JACK reach an agreement.
All four turn to each other spontaneously and say:
ANNE, JACK, LYDIA, PARRY
Fine.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET NEAR BROOKLYN BRIDGE - NIGHT.
PARRY and LYDIA walk and talk. ANNE and JACK walk behind them.
LYDIA
...I..uh..I get to read some of the books
but mostly I..just calculate production
costs from first edition hard cover
publication to paperback. After
paperback it's basically someone
else's problem.
PARRY
It sounds exciting.
LYDIA
Why does it sound exciting? There's
absolutely nothing exciting about it.
As Parry talks, he picks up a piece of garbage on the sidewalk.
PARRY
Well, you're calculating costs that
could have an affect on whether or
not the book is published and if
it is, it could be a book that...
....might somehow change the way people
think or act - a book can do that.
And you would be a part of creating
a cultural shift that could change
our society forever.
Parry drops the garbage in a garbage can and is almost
about to browse through it when:
JACK
Parry!
Parry is alerted by Jack that this would be inappropriate.
However, he does take a wire champagne cork wrapper, indiscreetly.
LYDIA
We mostly publish trashy romance novels.
PARRY
Well - empires have fallen
because of trashy romances...
Parry seems to be fashioning something out of the wire.
PARRY
(continuing)
...Romance is romance no matter what kind
it is...It could be a Victorian lady
kidnapped by a viral sea captain
with a hairy chest...or a horny pizza boy
seduced by a housewife with a hairy upper lip.
As long as there's heart, passion,
and little bit of fantasy...romance is
the stuff of dreams...there's always
more to trash than meets the eye...
With this, Parry shows her his creation - a little wire chair
made from the champagne wire. Lydia is impressed. Their
eyes meet for a dangerous moment, until:
A LARGE MAN walks by, bumping into LYDIA without apology and
knocking Parry's gift to the ground....
PARRY
...Hey!
The LARGE MAN continues walking as PARRY reaches to his back
pocket to pull out his SLINGSHOT when:
JACK/ANNE
PARRY!
PARRY begrudgingly lets him go.
MARTIN (O.S.)
Parry!...Parry - is that you!
Parry spots a familiar homeless face, sitting on the curb.
PARRY
Hey Martin...!
MARTIN
Don't you look all duded up!
PARRY
This is Lydia!
MARTIN
Nice to meet you Lydia! Got a quarter?!
PARRY smiles proudly. A mortified LYDIA reachs in her purse
and hands Martin a quarter...Anne and Jack watch in disbelief.
MARTIN
Thank you. God bless...
(to Parry)
Nice girl...Have you set the date yet?
Lydia hurries away. Parry follows....The walk continues:
LYDIA
How do you know him?
PARRY
We were neighbors for a couple for weeks
on Sutton Place.
Lydia
You lived on Sutton Place?
PARRY
(proudly)
Yep! Right on it!
ANNE
(tries to save it)
Huh...the restaurant's just around the
corner here...
They nod. After a beat, Lydia asks:
LYDIA
What do you do - for a living I mean?
PARRY
Well, I'm in search of the Holy Grail.
JACK smacks his own forehead, exasperated. ANNE gives up.
CUT TO:
INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT.
ANNE and LYDIA sit opposite JACK and PARRY.
THEY are served three large orders of dumplings.
ANNE
Oh..I could eat all of these
LYDIA is nervous about this. As everyone begins to eat, SHE
eyes her chopsticks with reluctance.
PARRY looks at her and smiles encouragingly.
LYDIA forces a smile back, picks up her chopsticks and dives in.
PARRY watches her in adoration. JACK subtly tries to get PARRY
to stop staring. But PARRY is glued to his vision.
LYDIA, even more awkward now with her new nails, drops her first
dumpling into her lap.
LYDIA
Oh..god...
To save her from embarassment, PARRY drops his dumpling into his
lap as well.
PARRY
Oh boy...
LYDIA takes her napkin and dips it into a glass of water.
PARRY follows suit.
When LYDIA removes the napkin, her glass falls over.
PARRY forces his glass over, as well.
ANNE and JACK are looking at this mirror exercise in fascination.
PARRY
(to LYDIA)
Can't take us anywhere, huh?
LYDIA can't help but smile - a little more at ease now. Grateful
she is not the clumsy center of attention.
JACK leans over and whispers to ANNE:
JACK
What do you think?
ANNE
I think they're made for each other.
And it scares me.
FADE TO:
LATER IN THE EVENING.
WE PAN the table as everyone eats their main courses.
LYDIA, we discover, has another eating idiosyncracy. SHE
unconsciously, but quite loudly, smacks her mouth when she chews.
LYDIA (O.C.)
SMACK..SMACK...SMACK...
WE HEAR THIS SMACKING OFF CAMERA as we begin on JACK; trying not
to look at LYDIA but having difficulty enjoying his own meal.
CAMERA moves to PARRY, staring at her, helplessly in love, not
paying any attention to his own food; moving to LYDIA "SMACK,
SMACKING" , beginning to accept PARRY'S attraction in her and,
warming up to the idea, SHE throws a smile at him in between
"smacks"; and finally ANNE, chewing quietly, staring at JACK
with her eyes widened twice their normal size, indicating her
disbelief at LYDIA'S vocal variety of noises.
CUT TO:
PARRY
gazing at his sweetheart, a song to seranade comes to
mind and he softly begins:
PARRY
Lydia... Oh Lydia... That
encyclopedia. Oh Lydia the tattooed
lady...
His gentle voice counterbalances the odd lyrics and makes
it sound like a love song.
Anne eyes Jack to stop him.
Jack is about to make an attempt but can't seem to find
the way, so he doesn't bother.
Lydia doesn't know how to respond either. At first she
smiles politely, then she pretends to be too busy eating
to listen -- but something about Parry's sincerity pulls
her in. His face glows as he floats the lyrics across
the table to her. Slowly, her "smacking" subsides, she
lowers her fork, forgets her self-consciousness and
listens to Parry -- slightly hypnotized; like a little
girl watching a ballerina for the first time.
Jack is fascinated by Parry's complete adoration of this
mess of a woman. He looks to Anne, who tries to continue
her meal nonchalantly. He notices her bra strap hanging
out from her sweater.
CAMERA CUTS BACK AND FORTH between the exposed strap and
Jack, as Parry continues seranading O.S. Anne realizes
Jack is staring at her and immediately thinks something's
wrong. But Jack just smiles at her. His hand reaches
across the table, not to fix her sweater, but to take her
hand. Anne is in shock. She slips her hand into his and
smiles back, her eyes almost tearing.
When Parry finishes, he smiles.
PARRY
Would it be all right... I mean would
you mind... if I walked you home
tonight?
Lydia nods. From O.S., Parry's hand holds a napkin and
gently dabs a stain of soy sauce on her sleeve.
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO SPOT - NIGHT.
ANNE
I tell ya, I'm very surprised.
She seemed to go for him. Hmmm...
There's somebody for everybody, huh?
JACK very pleased with himself.
JACK
You know, I can't believe I did it.
You think it'll work out?
ANNE
Who's knows. My Aunt Marge used to say,
"some matches are made in heaven,
some are made in hell and some are made
in hardware stores".
JACK
Nothing it's just...I begining to understand you.
ANNE
(smiles)
Well...I think you should feel very
proud. You did a real nice thing
for somebody else. I'm very proud.
JACK
You were great. Thanks alot.
HE kisses her hard and long. ANNE pulls away to catch her breath.
SHE is surprised, to say the least.
ANNE
Your welcome.
JACK tenderly brushes her hair off her face. HE kisses her again,
ANNE
Oh my.
CUT TO:
EXT. LYDIA'S STREET - NIGHT.
PARRY and LYDIA walk - noticably more comfortable with each
other than before.
PARRY
Tell me more. I want to know everything.
LYDIA
There isn't any more to tell.
PARRY
Don't say that.
LYDIA
(genuine)
No, really..believe me - there
isn't any more. This is it.
PARRY
Well, it's enough for me.
LYDIA
You don't have to say that.
PARRY
I never say anything I have to.
LYDIA
I mean you don't have to say nice
things to me... That kind of thing is
a little old fashioned for what we're
about to do.
PARRY
What are we about to do?
LYDIA
Well... you're walking me home. I...
I guess you're sort of... attracted
to me and you'll want to come
upstairs for... coffee...
PARRY
I don't drink coffee...
LYDIA
... and then we'll probably have a
drink and talk and get comfortable
with each other and... and we'll...
then you'll sleep over and then in
the morning...
(driving herself into a
complex)
... you'll be distant and you won't
be... able to stay for breakfast...
you'll just have some coffee maybe...
PARRY
I don't drink coffee...
LYDIA
And then we'll exchange phone numbers
and you'll leave and never call and
I'll go to work and feel great for
the first hour and then slowly turn
into a piece of dirt by lunch. Why
am I putting myself through this?
(to Parry, as she quickens
her pace)
It was very nice... uh meeting you.
Good night..
She walks quickly away. Parry stops, confused to say the
least, then runs after her. Lydia is just about to enter
the front door of her building when Parry stops her.
PARRY
Excuse me...
LYDIA
Listen, I'm not feeling well.
PARRY
Well, no wonder. We just met, made
love and broke up all in the space of
thirty seconds and I can't even
remember the first kiss which is the
best part.
LYDIA
Listen, you're very nice... b...
PARRY
So are you, but I think maybe you
should shut up now...
(Lydia is surprised)
... I'm not coming up to your
apartment. That was never my idea.
LYDIA
Oh... You mean you don't want to.
PARRY
(deeply sincere)
Oh no, I want to.
(sweetly)
I've got a hard-on for you the size
of Canada... but I don't... want
just one night. I have a confession
to make?
LYDIA
You're married.
PARRY
No.
LYDIA
Divorced.
PARRY
No, I...
LYDIA
You have a disease.
PARRY
Will you stop!...
(pause, he looks at her)
... I'm in love with you...
Lydia is about to speak when Parry puts his hand over her
mouth.
PARRY
... It's not just from tonight. I've
known you for a long time. I see you
come out of work every day. I walk
with you to lunch. I know what you
order... I see you buy Baby Ruths
before going back in...
(slowly removes his hand)
I know how you feel on certain days
by whether or not you go into the
bookstore...
(Lydia listens with
fascination)
... I know you hate your job and you
don't have many friends and you
sometimes feel like you're not as...
as wonderful as everybody else and
you're a little uncoordinated
(Lydia begins to cry)
... and feeling like you're the only
one who's as separate and... alone as
you are... and I love you. I love
you. I think you're the greatest
thing since... spice racks and I
would be knocked out several times if
I even got just a first kiss. But
I'll be back in the morning. And I
won't be distant. And I will call if
you let me... But I still don't drink
coffee.
LYDIA
Shhh...
She kisses him, tentatively -- almost awkwardly. Parry
feels a surge of emotion that makes his whole body
tremble. Lydia separates from him and looks into his
eyes. She pinches his cheek, hard.
LYDIA
(continuing; earnestly)
You are real, aren't you?
They kiss again. Then Lydia quickly pulls away...
LYDIA
(continuing)
... You can call...
She runs into the building, afraid to linger and ruin the
moment. Parry stands transfixed, his eyes following her.
Lydia pauses briefly to look back. She is so excited.
She smiles and turns toward the elevator... her skirt
spinning with her.
CUT TO:
INT. LYDIA'S BUILDING - ELEVATOR - SECONDS LATER
She re-enacts the entire love scene in her mind, to make
sure it went as well as she thinks.
CUT TO:
EXT. LYDIA'S BUILDING - NIGHT
PARRY is standing frozen... We don't know whether he's
looking ahead of him or in his mind's eye... He appears
anxious and frightened as he steps back, away from
Lydia's building... He senses someone is watching him.
Parry smiles. But suddenly it is as if everything has
gone into SLOW MOTION. His eyes focus on her skirt as it
swirls around as she turns... His expression grows dark:
O.S. we hear a horses HOOVES moving in slowly as CAMERA
moves to CLOSEUP. He slowly turns his head and looks
down the block to the corner to see:
The Red Knight. He sits upon his horse as if waiting for
Parry. The street lamps cast a glow around his imposing
figure. The night air lifts his cape up around his
massive shoulders.
Parry, vulnerable, in love, whispers plainly:
PARRY
Let me have this.
CUT TO:
THE RED KNIGHT
silent, unforgiving, unrelenting.
Parry begins to move away, taking a step back and then
another and another... until he is running down toward
the opposite corner.
The Red Knight shifts his horse into Parry's direction
and begins to charge. Parry runs through deserted city
streets -- running for his life; the sounds of the Red
Knight GALLOPINGS grows closer. The Red Knight, looks
like a surreal figure hunting his prey.
As Parry runs, IMAGES/MEMORIES begin to flood his mind
uncontrollably;
EXT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
An ambulance arriving at a hospital... his wounded wife
being moved on a stretcher.
CUT BACK TO:
EXT. LYDIA'S STREET - NIGHT
Parry running away from the Knight.
CUT TO:
INT. BABBITT'S - NIGHT
Parry and his wife at the side bar. He is making her
laugh uncontrollably. He sees Edwin in the doorway,
making nothing of it.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Parry still running.
PARRY
Sstttoppp!!!
Passers-by on the street witness the familiar sight of a
bum screaming at thin air then turn away. We hear the
GALLOPING getting louder.
Parry runs, mumbling incoherently. People on the street
get out of his way or snicker behind his back. The Red
Knight gallops toward PARRY, as he runs; his face wet
with tears -- yet contorting with angry, incomprehensible
reprisals. People on the street pay no attention.
CUT TO:
EXT. BABBITT'S - NIGHT
A bar with broken glass surrounded by police and
spectators.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
Parry and his wife waltzing. CLOSEUP on their clasped
hands as Parry maneuvers a ring on her finger.
INT. BABBITT'S - NIGHT
His wife's lifeless hand lifted onto the stretcher.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
Surprised, Parry's wife stops dancing to look at the
ring. Parry smiles. It is his proposal...
EXT. BABBITT'S - NIGHT
Ambulance driving away with Parry holding his wife's hand
in the back...
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
Dancing, his wife embraces him as she accepts.
INT. TV NEWS STATION - NIGHT
Jack's face on a TV news broadcast with a reporter
commenting.
CUT TO:
EXT. EAST RIVER PROMENADE - NIGHT
Parry has run all the way to the promenade along the
river.
PARRY
Come on!... Where are you!!! Where
are you!!
(softer, dropping to his
knees)
Where are you...
CUT TO:
EXT. THE END OF THE PROMENADE - NIGHT
The two juvenile delinquents, Leather and Windbreaker,
come strutting down the promenade, in SLOW MOTION. Parry
looks toward them, as if surrendering.
Through PARRY'S POV we see the two youths are being lead
by the Red Knight on his horse.
Parry, tear-stained face, rises to meet them. The Youths
reach Parry and surround him. Leather flicks open a
switchblade.
LEATHER
... We're tired of looking at you
people...
Parry stands before them, surrendering to his fate.
Through his POV, the Red Knight is pointing a sword at
him in front of Leather and his switchblade. He slashes
at Parry's chest as we...
CUT TO:
WIDE ANGLE OF PROMENADE
as Parry sinks to his knees... The youths close in around
him.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - MORNING
Outside the bathroom door, we hear the toilet FLUSH.
Anne exits in an imitation silk kimono, feeling very much
the satisfied woman. She crosses into the living room
and finds Jack, on the phone in mid-conversation, beside
his open box of radio tapes. She hugs him from behind as
he talks, still warm from their all night lovemaking...
JACK
(excited, very "on")
... Well, ya know, I'm feeling good,
Lou... I don't know how else to put
it... I... I had some personal things
to work out and... and I have and...
(listens, then:)
Yeah... Well, the thing is... I want
to work again... I want to get back
into it... you think that's possible?
Anne releases her hug -- looking surprised, pleased,
impressed... she stands by, waiting to ask Jack what's
up!
JACK
(to phone)
I understand...
(obedient)
I am... I won't... I will...
(beaming)
Great! Thanks a lot, Lou...
Tuesday's fine.
(listens)
Okay... Thanks...
He hangs up the phone elated... Anne can't wait to
hear...
ANNE
So what's going on? Who's Lou again?
JACK
(disappointed she doesn't
remember)
My agent. I called my agent.
ANNE
You're kidding! What did he say?
JACK
He says if I want to get back to
work, no problem. He wants me to
come in and talk and... and... that's
it!
ANNE
Whoah! Oh, honey, that's terrific!
She gives him a big hug. Jack is first to break away.
JACK
(organizing tapes)
I've got to put these tapes in some
kind of order... and... Oh, I should
get my sports jacket cleaned...
(he crosses to the closet)
... There's coffee if you want...
ANNE
You made coffee?... You're going back
to work and you made coffee?... I
love this!
Jack does not respond as he looks through the closet.
Anne gets her coffee and sits -- watching Jack move about
so full of energy and focus...
ANNE
(continuing)
It's so great to see you like this,
honey... I can't tell you.
JACK
(looking at jacket)
Thanks.
ANNE
(she smiles and drinks)
Ya know, I'm thinkin' -- with another
income coming in, I would love to get
a bigger place.
Jack stops organizing for a beat.
ANNE
(continuing)
... I don't want to rush things --
you have to get a job first, but I'm
so sure that's gonna happen I'm not
even thinking about it.
Jack brings out his sports jacket, then returns to his
tapes, hoping he can avoid having to respond.
JACK
Ugh, these tapes are a mess. I don't
know where to begin...
ANNE
... I would love to start looking at
least. You know, maybe a two bedroom
or even, maybe the top floor of a
house -- like in Brooklyn or Staten
Island...
Jack looks at her, not knowing what to say.
ANNE
(continuing)
... What?... You don't want to
commute?
JACK
No, it's not... Come here...
He turns her around and cuddles her up in his arms, with
her back to him.
JACK
(continuing)
You're an incredible woman Anne...
Anne breaks away suddenly and looks at him, sternly.
JACK
(continuing)
What?
ANNE
"I'm an incredible woman?" What is
this, a death sentence?
JACK
No, I... I think we should talk about
this.
ANNE
(aware and suspicious)
You want to talk? Come on, Jack...
Did I cross the line by mentioning
the future or what?
JACK
No... it's just...
Anne shifts her body to face him directly.
JACK
(continuing)
... Listen, so much has happened and
I think it would be a good thing for
both of us if we slowed things down a
little.
ANNE
Slowed things down? Where have I
been? Have we been going fast!?
JACK
Right now, I'm just not sure about...
making such definite plans.
Pause. Anne stares at him like he's speaking Dutch.
ANNE
I'm lost. What are you saying?
Jack sits them both down, takes her hand in his, takes a
breath:
JACK
It's been a real... real difficult
time for me... The past year or so...
And now, for the first time, Anne, I
feel like I'm above water.
I feel like I know a lot more than I
did, and I don't want to make any
mistakes so... I think what I need is
some time... to make the right
choices. And... I think that
maybe... I need to be alone for
awhile.
Anne is speechless -- for the moment.
JACK
... I'd like to focus on my career -
- now than I can, now that
everything's all right... Parry's
taken care of... and... Like I said,
I feel like I know a lot more now and
I don't...
ANNE
(interrupts)
First of all, let me tell you
something -- you don't know shit.
Second of all, as far as we go, what
time do you need? What have we been
doing here, except time? Have I
ever... ever pressured you!?
JACK
No.
ANNE
No. So what time do you need? I
love you -- you love me -- you want
to get your career going, great! I'd
like to be a part of it -- I think I
deserve that! So what do you need
to figure out alone!?
Jack doesn't answer. Pause. Anne is afraid she knows.
ANNE
(continuing)
All right. I'm going to ask you one
question.
(summoning up all her strength)
Do you love me?
Pause.
JACK
I don't know.
She slaps him.
ANNE
You can't even give me that?! What
were you gonna do, Jack?... Just
gonna organize your life...
(indicates the box)
... walk out that door, move in by
yourself and what -- drop the news
when you find somebody else? What
were you planning to do, Jack?
JACK
I didn't know. I just said all I
want is some time.
ANNE
(fighting back tears)
Bullshit! If you're going to hurt
me, you hurt me now -- not some
long... drawn out hurt that takes
weeks of my life because you don't
have the balls!
JACK
(pause, then:)
All right... I'll pack my stuff
tonight.
Anne slaps him again.
ANNE
What have you been doing here! Huh!
I wanna know! What have you been
doing here?!
JACK
Listen! We both got something out of
it, all right!
ANNE
Oh yeah? What did I get? What did I
get I couldn't've gotten from
somebody with no name any night of
the week? You think your company is
such a treat? Your moods, your...
(sarcastic)
"pain", your problems... You think
you're entertaining?
JACK
Then what do you want to stay with me
for?
ANNE physically attacks him...
ANNE
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!...STUPID!...FUCKIN!...
JACK blocks her blows and holds her arms. ANNE surrenders to
her tears. HE is about to embrace her, when she pulls away.
ANNE
No....You don't get to be nice now.
I'm not gonna play some game with you
where we act like friends so you can
walk out here feeling good about yourself.
I'm not a liar. If you're gonna leave me
then that's what we call it.
The phone rings. JACK answers it.
JACK
Hello?...Yeah...My wallet? What do you
mean?....(his face drops) What?....What?
INT. HOSPITAL WARD - NIGHT.
PARRY lays in bed - his face bandaged, his arms in a cast,
his chest tightly rapped. HE has been severly beaten. JACK
and ANNE stand at the foot of the bed in shock. A DOCTOR appears.
The DOCTOR is young, dedicated and inexperienced enough to
still feel compassion.
JACK
Parry?
DOCTOR
He can't hear you.
(JACK and ANNE turn)
Hi...I'm Dr. Weintraub....
(shakes hands)
I was on duty when they brought
him in...I've been going over his record...
He was brought in once before I understand...
(reads)
..."catatonic stupor"...condition rendered
him non-verbal for a period of -...
JACK
Yeah so? The guy's beat up - he...he
probably has a concussion or something, right?
(DOCTOR doesn't reply)
He'll snap out of it?
DOCTOR
I'm afraid not ... Then again, I'm not sure.
The beating's bad but it's not the problem...
It seems he's.. re-experiencing the catatonia...
So, like before, he could snap out it in an
hour or in thirteen months or thirteen years...
....I don't know. There's no way to tell.
JACK
But..How could that happen?
DOCTOR
Well, it's not unusual in his case...
Sometimes victims of tragedies are
subject to the brain's replay system.
The brain never loses anything - it just
stores it up and waits. A person could
actually re-experience the full effect
of a tragedy, long after the event took place.
Are you relatives?
(JACK shakes his head)
Well, it doesn't matter. We'll take care
of it. He'll have to be sent back to
the same institution..
(HE checks the record)
JACK
What if I was a relative?
DOCTOR
You'd have the option to care for him at
home but my advice is it wouldn't be the
best thing for him. He needs hospital
care. I just thought you could sign the
release forms, but the city can do that.
I wouldn't feel responsible in any way.
There's really nothing you can do. I'm sorry.
With that, the DOCTOR EXITS. JACK and ANNE face PARRY.
ANNE
Just like a guy. Finds the woman of
his dreams then falls into a coma...
Poor Lydia...
(SHE looks at JACK)
...Some women just have no luck, huh?
Including herself in this remark, and having cried all she could
cry, She and JACK exchange one final look. SHE turns and,
with all her dignity, walks out of the ward. After a BEAT:
JACK
Anne....Anne...I'll call you O.k...?
But ANNE doesn't stop or turn - she keeps walking.
JACK stares at PARRY. CAMERA MOVES IN TO C.U. - His face
hardening, a mixture of hurt, rage and resignation.
SUPER - SIX MONTHS LATER.
INT. RADIO STUDIO - DAY
CAMERA PANS the studio as JACK signs off his broadcast:
JACK
Well, I'm gone-... Have a perfect
weekend and remember on Monday, we
have as our studio guest, Ben Starr -
star of the recently defunct hit TV show
ON THE RADIO - it's the rise and fall
story of one of televisions brightest
stars ruined by charges of sodomy in
an Atlanta airport mens room. If you
often wonder, "what IS sodomy exactly?",
Ben'll have that answer and many more
for you on Monday's show...Until then, don't do
anything that will break your pattern
of being the selfish scum sucking
race you are. From one of the Botched
to all of your bungled cats out there,
I love ya and right back at cha!. Over and out!
HE flicks his monitor off as a commercial takes over. The CREW
work in silence behind him. HE rubs his tired face and sits there.
CAMERA PAUSES on JACK for a moment as he sits in silence. HE
looks neither happy nor said, neither satisfied nor unsatisfied.
HE looks blank...emotionless...as if he knows something is lacking
but he hasn't the strength or interest to find out....
THE PHONE RINGS - breaking the silence. JACK picks up.
JACK
Yeah...Yeah Lou....
(no excitement, no energy until:)
Lou, I said I want an offer or they can forget it...
Well, tell them I'm meeting with
the cable people about a talk show and...What?...
Beth's father set it up...No, he owns it.
...Fuck you Lou...And if the network is ready to
make an offer and I see a script, then fine...
otherwise, forget it...
HE hangs up.
BETH (OC)
Hi...
JACK turns to see his new improved girlfriend, BETH - a tall,
statuesque redhead in a smart Chanel outfit. BETH crosses to
him and they kiss...When they kiss, all the lights in the
surrounding studios booths go out, as the crew heads home.
JACK'S STUDIO is now surrounded by blackness...After the kiss,
JACK gets right to business...
JACK
Hi..Did you talk to your father?
BETH
(hiding good news)
Yeeesss...
JACK
(slightly annoyed by her coquettish game)
Weeellll!
BETH
Well, Daddy said...and this is word for word...
He said...that he thought... that you were a home run.
JACK knows this must mean a great deal - especially to BETH -
but he just can't get the steam up....HE smiles weakly.
JACK
Great.
BETH
Really. He thinks you'll be a phenominal
success...and he says the cable people
are very excited about the meeting...
I said I always knew that and I
really think it was like the first time
he really respected me...So thank you for that.
JACK nods "it was nothing" as his hands move up her body.
Oh and I called him later to thank him but
I really think you should send him a note...
He wants to take us out to dinner tonight.
The car's picking us up at seven...
JACK nods and watches BETH'S BREASTS pressing against her
dress. Turned on, JACK moves to her and begins fondling
her, as he kisses her neck. BETH giggles.
BETH
Jaaack...what are you crazy? They're
people all around us?
JACK flips a switch that send his studio into darkness and
continues kissing and fondling. BETH giggles some more.
BETH
Jaack..I can't do this...
JACK begins to ease her to the floor. BETH stops him.
BETH
What is this thing you have with the floor?
THEY lower O.C....We hear BETH continue OC:
BETH
Oh it's cold...I'm cold...honey...
Jack, can we please do this after dinner..
in bed?...like normal people?...I really want
you but I'll want you more, late. O.K. I promise.
CUT TO:
EXT. MIDTOWN OFFICE BUILDING - DAY.
A STREET BUM, whose face we cannot see, is busy asking
people for change. But no one is stopping... A SECURITY GUARD
exits the building and starts yelling at the BUM to leave.
A CAB pulls up and out steps JACK and LOU. THEY start
walking toward the building when the BUM recognizes JACK...
BUM
JACK!....JACK!....
JACK turns as the BUM starts for him. Simultaneously, the
SECURITY GUARD intercepts the BUM, who JACK recognizes as
the GAY BUM from Central Park...
GAY BUM
JACK!...JACK! IT'S MEE...REMEMBER ME...YOU KNOW ME!
GUARD
GET OUTTA HERE I SAID!!...
LOU tries to usher JACK into the building, but JACK stands
frozen for a moment, as the GUARD pulls out a club and
starts poking the GAY BUM away...JACK doesn't know what to do...
LOU
You KNOW that guy!?
(JACK doesn't answer).
GAY BUM
JACK...JACK...PLEASE CAN I TALK TO YOU?
I JUST..I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, JACK...I...
But the GUARD keeps at him...JACK realizes people are watching
him and he enters the building with LOU as the GAY BUM screams:
GAY BUM
JACK..PLEASE..JAAAAAACCKKK!!!!
JAACCK!...WHY WON'T ANYBODY....WHAT'S THE MATTER...
But JACK disappears inside. THE GAY BUM is blocked by the GUARD.
HE throws his arms up and starts muttering to himself helplessly.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - NETWORK OFFICES - DAY.
A hyperkenetic T.V. EXEC. is pitching JACK, who sits next to LOU.
T.V. EXEC.
It's a weekly comedy about the homeless.
JACK can't believe his fate. HE looks to a coffee table and
sees a magazine front page: LANGDON CARMICHAEL BUYS VAN GOGH'S
ROAD WITH CYPRESSES FOR 20 MILLION DOLLARS. CAMERA PANS TO C.U.
...But it's not depressing in any way.
We want to find a happy, upbeat way of
bringing the issue of homeless to television.
There are three wacky homeless characters
but they're wise...they're wacky and they're wise...
And the hooks is, they love being homeless. They
love the freedom...they love the adventure...
It's all about the joy of living...not all
the bullshit we have to deal with...the
money, the politics..the pressures...
And we're gonna call it HOME FREE...
LOU
Oooooo... I got a rush...
Suddenly, Jack stands up and bolts out of the room.
TV EXEC
What?... Where is he... Lou, is this
another disappearing act with this
guy or what?
LOU
(overlapping)
I'm sure it's nothing... He probably
had to go to the bathroom... I'll
find out...
CUT TO:
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING (101 PARK AVE. SO.) - DAY
Jack rushes out of the building to find the Gay Bum, but
he's gone.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT - DAY
Jack walks around. He looks at the wall of weapons and
the mural of the medieval scene. He looks through the
maps, ropes plans for the robbery. He finds the
Pinnochio doll still keeping guard before the Red Knight
wall of scribblings.
EXT. A LOT BENEATH THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE - DUSK
Jack approaches the entrance to the lot from the street,
carrying an open box of assorted deli food and coffee...
He stops in the entrance and looks at the deserted lot.
Gone are the little cliques of homeless, once scattered
throughout the place. Gone is the magic and danger that
night cast upon the surroundings. All Jack sees is
garbage and decay.
Suddenly, SIRENS from an ambulance pulls his his attention
away. At the same time, the Black and the Irishman (from
that same first night with Parry), come running out from
between the two giant foundations of the bridge and bolt
out of the lot. Jack smiles in recognition as he moves
to block them:
JACK
Hey! Hey, guys!... Remember me...
But the Black and the Irishman push him out of the way...
BLACK
Let me the fuck alone, goddamn it...
IRISHMAN
(overlapping)
Move it, for Christ sakes.
Move...!!!
The Irishman shoves Jack against the fence and runs, with
the Black close behind. They disappear underneath the
highway as Jack turns and sees an ambulance pulling up to
the sight. PARAMEDICS wheel a gurney from the ambulance,
past Jack and into the lot between the giant foundations.
Jack approaches with great trepidation. He moves into
view just in time to see the Paramedics lift the body of
the Hippy bum onto the stretcher...
JACK
Hey... Hey... Hey wait, I know him...
The Paramedics stop... Jack approaches the gurney... The
Hippy eyes are opened and glazed.
JACK
(continuing)
Hey... hey, remember me... Marvel
Comics, right?... Remember Parry...
Superbum? Remember you guys saved my
ass...
PARAMEDIC
Mister, he's dead.
Jack realizes the glazed eyes are actually dead eyes.
The Paramedics wheel him away;
CUT TO:
INT. OAKBROOK INSTITUTE - THAT NIGHT
Jack approaches the nurses' station when he spots a
familiar face. Lydia.
We can see a change in her; the self-consciousness
replaced by a self assurance, the insecurity replaced
with a maturity. She wears a handsome tailored suit. Jack
hides from her and listens:
LYDIA
(to NURSE)
Excuse me but I brought new bed
sheets for him last week. They were
lime colored with little watermelons
on them...
NURSE
Oh yes... I'm sorry. They're being
cleaned. The doctor had a little
accident with a hypo.
LYDIA
All right... Make sure he gets them,
okay. Thank you.
Jack watches her exit.
INT. PARRY'S WARD - NIGHT
Jack enters a room lined on both side with beds and
patients.
The various patients -- all men -- are confined to their
beds. Some are mumbling inaudibly to themselves, others
are rocking back and forth, others just stare off into
space. Parry sits in bed -- his eyes are dead, his body
unresponsive. Jack stands at the foot of his bed. Parry
does not respond.
JACK
Hi!... It's Jack... How are you
doing?... You look good... You do.
Parry remains the same. Other patients look at Jack as
if he's nuts talking to a catatonic person. Jack moves
closer to him. He picks up his hand and holds it. Then
shakes it.
JACK
(continuing)
... Hey... You gonna wake up for me?
Huh?...
No response. Jack leans closer into him. His tone
changes:
JACK
(continuing)
... This isn't over is it?... You
think you're going to make me do
this, don't you?...
(sternly)
Well, forget it! No fucking way!...
I don't feel responsible for you, or
for any of them! Everybody has bad
things happen to them... I'm not God.
I don't decide... People survive.
(beat)
Say something!?
The other patients stop their mumblings and watch, as if
Jack were an interesting TV show... Jack paces before the
bed.
JACK
(continuing)
... Everything's been going great!
Great! I'm... I'm gonna have my own
cable talk show, with an incredible
equity I might add... I... I... have
an... an incredibly gorgeous fucking
girlfriend... I... I am living an
incredible fucking life!!!... So
don't lay there in your comfortable
little coma and think I'm about to
risk all of that because I feel
responsible for you!
(to the other patients)
I am not responsible!
(to Parry)
And I don't feel guilty... You've got
it easy.
(intensely)
I'm out there every day. Every day
trying to figure out what the hell
I'm doing... why, no matter what I
have, it feels like I have nothing...
So don't think I feel sorry for you!
It's easy being nuts! Try being
me!...
(beat)
So I won't do this. I do not believe
in this. And don't give me that
stuff about me being the one! There
is nothing... Nothing special about
me! I control my own destiny -- not
some overweight fairies. I say what
I'm going to do and I am not risking
my life to get some fucking cup for
some fucking vegetable...
And even if I did do this, I want you
to know it wouldn't be because I had to!
It wouldn't be 'cause I feel guilty or cursed
or .. or...bad or responsible or anything....
The tears come. JACK gently pushes the hair off of PARRY'S face.
JACK
(continuing)
Aw shit...If I do this...and I mean, IF!...
It's because I want to do this...
for you. That's all!! For you!
(HE kisses PARRY'S forehead)
Don't go anywhere...huh?
CUT TO:
EXT. CARMICHAEL TOWNHOUSE - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
JACK stands on the deserted block. HE looks around at the
neighboring houses - all the New Yorkers safely locked away
behind their doors, intentionally oblivious to what goes on
around them. JACK is holding a rope with a self-made hook. HE
looks up the at building, takes a gulp, then throws the rope up.
IT MISSES and falls back toward him - scaring him to the side
and making an awful sound when it lands. JACK tries again.
IT CATCHES. HE tugs a bit. HE begins to climb up the building.
JACK
Thank God I live in a city where nobody
looks up...
HE places a foot on the wall and begins to climb, mumbling:
JACK
What the hell am I doing? Can't fuckin believe
this is my life! ...(imitates a whiny Parry)...
"Oh Jack you're the one...we have to get the Grail"
I'll give ya Grail, ya stupid dingbat!
Climbing up walls in the middle of the goddamn city-
in the middle of the goddamn night while that
schmuck lays in bed dreaming about Camelot!
I live through this and I'll be the
King of the Idiots...What a fucking honor!
HE pulls and steps, pulls and steps...climbing up to a BALCONY
mid-way between the street and the roof. JACK climbs over, falling
into some exterior lighting that lines the balcony.
A light is jarred loose, falling to the ground making an
awful SOUND and lighting a stained glass window. JACK raises his
eyes and sees THE RED KNIGHT standing six feet tall, as pictured
in the design of the stained glass window. HE stares until
HE HEARS THE SOUND OF A HORSE GALLOPING....HE freezes, then
cautiously looks toward the street - but the street
is vacant. The galloping stops. An eerie silence hangs in the air.
JACK
Oh great. This is great. I'm hearing
horses now. Parry will be so pleased.
(HE picks up the rope and
throws it to the roof)
RADIO PERSONALITY TURNS SCREWBALL
ON MISSION FROM GOD...I just hope
when they put me away they find me
a bed right next to his!
HE begins to climbs from the balcony to the roof....Suddenly,
JACK hears SIREN IN THE DISTANCE and freezes, closing his eyes.
SUDDENLY, THREE POLICE CARS come barrelling down the street -
sirens blasting, they screech to a halt. A dozen cops hit the
streets with rifles and spotlights aimed at JACK. A REPORTER
faces a news camera. (THE SAME REPORTER FROM EDWIN'S T.V.
NEWS REPORT)
REPORTER
A crazed radio personality dangles from
the townhouse of billionaire...
ANNE jumps out of a police car and runs to the townhouse -
her face full of love and concern.
ANNE
Jack!
JACK OPENS HIS EYES:
POV - The street is empty. The siren was from an ambulance
that drives off in the distance. There are no cops, no
spotlights...and no Anne.
JACK
(quietly)
Anne.
A ball of sweat, he takes a breath and continues his
climb.
CUT TO:
EXT. CARMICHAEL TOWNHOUSE - ROOF - NIGHT
Jack reaches the roof and climbs over. He pulls the rope
up and quickly moves to the skylight. He looks down into
it and sees a dark void. He takes a breath and pulls out
some masking tape. He makes three big tape loops and
applies them to the glass. He then takes out a glass
cutter and begins to cut a pane. The SOUND, at first, is
starting. An O.S. VOICE says:
VOICE
You're being too loud.
Jack's heart stops. He looks into the darkness of the
roof but sees nothing. He tries to slow down his heart
and shake away thoughts of demons in the dark. He
continues cutting. When he finishes the entire pane, he
replaces the cutter in his pocket then plasters his arm
against the tape. He gently bangs the pane and it comes
loose, sticking to the tape. He is impressed. He places
the pane on the roof and, fastening one end of the rope
to a pipe, lowers the other end down.
CUT TO:
INT. CARMICHAEL TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT
Jack eases himself down into a pitch black room. But the
rope doesn't reach the floor. He dangles for a moment,
fearful of falling until he realizes it is the only way
to get down. He takes a breath and releases, falling to
the floor with a THUD!... The room is dark. The moon-
light barely illuminates the austere, castle-like
surroundings. Jack pulls out the page from the
Architecture Today and lights a lighter. The "Grail" is
in the library on the first floor. Jack cautiously makes
his way out.
INT. FIFTH FLOOR HALLWAY OF TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT
Jack looks down the dark hallway. At the far end he can
see the top of a staircase. He heads towards it until he
sees something that makes him stop dead in his tracks.
Slowly, a shadow holding a shotgun emerges up the stairs
against the back wall... Jack is paralyzed. He closes
his eyes. The shadow reaches the top of the landing. It
is EDWIN MALNICK... Wearing the same expression we saw on
the TV broadcast -- sad and harmless. Jack's heart is
bursting out of his chest. Edwin calmly raises the gun,
cocks it and FIRES: the shot BLASTS down the hallway,
deafening Jack. But when he opens his eyes to see if he
has been hit, there is no blood, no wound... and when he
looks up, no Edwin. He pulls himself together and
continues:
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST FLOOR OF TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT
Jack enters Carmichael's library carefully. A small lamp
is lit on a small table beside a large Chesterfield
chair, which is turned facing the fireplace. Jack spots
the antique commode and crosses to it... Within the
commode, sitting innocently behind two small glass doors,
is the "Grail"... Jack gently opens the doors and takes
out the goblet. He holds it reverently for a moment,
then, noticing an inscription, reads:
TO LITTLE LANNIE CARMICHAEL
FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK... P.S. 247 CHRISTMAS PAGENT 1932
Jack can't help but smile. He takes the chalice and
turns to leave, when suddenly he notices:
The bare foot of a man barely sticking out from in front
of the Chesterfield chair. Jack slowly moves around the
large back of the chair to the front and sees, to his
amazement: LANGSTON CARMICHAEL, wearing only his silk
pajama bottoms, asleep in the chair. On the table beside
him is an empty bottle of vodka and an empty bottle of
pills.
Jack doesn't know what to do, when it suddenly strikes
him that Carmichael hasn't moved at all. At first, he
thinks it is another hallucination, but then he notices
the pill bottle. He takes a step toward it, the floor
SQUEAKING beneath him but Carmichael remaining
unconscious. He reads the bottle: Seconal. Jack looks
at Carmichael's limp body and checks his heart. It is
very faint. Scared, Jack slowly starts backing out of
the room.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRST FLOOR HALLWAY - NIGHT
Jack is panicked. He wants to run away. He looks to the
front entrance and sees an alarm system indicated by a
tiny beam of light that sits a few inches above the
floor. Suddenly, Jack feels calm. He has an idea. He
knows what he is going to do.
CUT TO:
EXT. CARMICHAEL TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT
Jack exits out the front door, setting off a slight BUZZ
from the alarm. He checks to see that no one is around,
then quickly runs down the street.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S WARD - NIGHT
Parry lies asleep in a sea of lime green and watermelons.
Jack places the "Grail" in Parry's lifeless hands. He
pulls up a chair beside the bed and sits.
JACK
Okay... I did my side of the
bargain... You gonna wake up now?
Huh?...
(no response)
Want to think about it a little
more...? Okay.
Jack props his feet up on Parry's bed and settles in to
sleep.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S WARD - DAWN
CAMERA CLOSE on a newspaper headline being read by an
orderly: "ACCIDENTAL SUICIDE THWARTED BY NIGHT
PROWLER... Thief Didn't Know Anyone Was Home, Escapes
Empty Handed"... CAMERA PANS PAST several beds until it
ARRIVES at Parry's. Jack is asleep in a chair beside
him. CAMERA ON Parry's hands as they gently come to life
and grasp the chalice. Parry opens his eyes, raising the
chalice to him. He sees Jack sleeping beside him and
smiles.
PARRY
(whispers)
I had this dream, Jack.
Jack remains asleep.
PARRY
(continuing)
I was married. I was married to this
beautiful woman.... And you were there
too...
(pause)
I really miss her, Jack. Is that
okay? Can I miss her now?
Jack, his eyes closed, only pretends to be asleep, but in
truth he hears every word. A tear rolls down his cheek.
Parry extends one hand, placing it on Jack's shoulder
while cradling the chalice with the other.
CUT TO:
INT. OAKBROOK INSTITUTE - DAY
Lydia makes her way down the corridor, pushing her way
through the swinging doors into Parry's ward. She is
stopped in her tracks by what she sees:
Parry has gathered all the patients to the center of the
room, and is teaching them to sing "Groovin'". Jack
is watching. Although most are not getting it, all are
having a good time. When one of the patients turns to
look at Lydia, Parry turns as well... His face lights up
as he says:
PARRY
Hiya, sweetheart! Where you been!?
Lydia loses control and begins to cry through her smile.
Parry approaches and wraps his arms around her.
PARRY
(continuing)
Don't cry... Hey...
Lydia throws her arms around him.
PARRY
(continuing)
... Are you my girl?... Are you my
girl...?
Lydia sobs and nods in his shoulder. Parry holds her
tighter.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP - DAY.
ANNE sits in her office, a cigarette dangling from her mouth,
going over receipts. There is a knock at the door. A beat of
silence. ANNE raises her head to discover JACK, holding a
bouquet of flowers. HE smiles. ANNE looks shocked, then -
pulling herself together...THEY both are frozen in silence:
ANNE
Well! What do you want me to do -
applaud?
JACK
How have you been?
ANNE
(coldly)
Terrific. Going on alot of dates ...
seeing lots of men... lots of dates..
JACK nods. HE is uncharacteristically nervous.
ANNE
(sincere, vulnerable)
Jack please...I'm having a bad month.
I'm not up to this. What are you doing here?
HE takes a breath, looks at ANNE and pushes the words out of him.
JACK
I love you.
For once, ANNE is speechless. She slowly rises from behind her
desk in such a way that JACK takes a step back in fear. ANNE
up to him. She has no intention of making this easy.
ANNE
Excuse me, I didn't get all that...
Won't you run it by me again.
JACK is dying. HE could hardly say it the first time.
JACK
I think..(quickly corrects himself)
I...I realized...I love you.
ANNE
Huh-huh....You son of a bitch!
SHE hauls off and cracks him a slap across the face
that stuns him - his knees giving out, lowering him to the floor.
SHE quickly grabs his face with her hands and plants a passionate
kiss on his lips, that slowly causes him to rise back up. HE drops
the flowers and grabs her. SHE mounts his body and begin to undo his
suit. THEY go at it with such passion, they both fall to the floor.
ANNE (O.C.)
Jesus. What rock hit YOU in the head?
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - NIGHT.
CAMERA PANS DOWN PARRY and JACK, lying naked, cloudbusting.
PARRY
Beautiful night huh?
JACK
Yeah.....Hey they're moving....
(pause)
Am I doing that?
THE END